Fair Ain't What I'm Looking For
by Sev-chan
Summary: What could be more strange then finding yourself surrounded by glass walls holding water at bay? Discovering you were never the only person running? That people are willing to kill over their beliefs? This certainly ain't no wonderland Jack fell into. AU
1. The Other Side

Disclaimer:Don't Own, Don't Flame, Don't Sue

Warning: (Rated for) Slash, Language, and Violence!

Fair Ain't What I'm Looking For

_Chapter One: The Other Side_

He started running, leaves hitting him hard in the face as he whipped past trees and large bushes. His breath ghosted in the air and the full moon just as easily lit his way as much as it hindered him. He didn't know where he was going, but he just had to leave there was just no other way about it. He'd go as far as his legs would take him, take him so far away he hoped. Footsteps behind him became quicker and heavier and he increased his speed some more. Slim low branches cracked and snapped sounding intent on leaving red welts long after their demise on whoever choose to end it. But Jack just kept on running ignoring the small pain they inflicted knowing full well who ever was chasing him would only cause more and worse.

The people had always been this way and with the more frequent disappearances things just got worse. He was one of them, they looked down on people like him, they killed people like him. Not always in a physical kind of meaning, but more then often in a mental sort of way. They killed the kind of person that you were inside. It was hard to explain, not many people spoke about it afterwards, they stumbled along with life as if only half their heart was into it. He couldn't do that, couldn't go through life in such a way, it wasn't living, not to him. He just needed time away, time to sort things out, this just wasn't the life he thought he'd live when he'd come there. It was like an endless journey for him. He was going to just find someplace to just be.

A reflection of the moon beamed off the lake just miles from the town, he knew if he just made it across the lake he'd be free. The sound of gun shots went off and he could hardly believe the piercing sound that boomed through the hardly silent night. Just a few steps closer and he'd be able to dive into the lake. More shots went off and he sprinted the last few steps and got knee deep in the water before leaping into a dive to swim across. More shots had gone off and a bullet grazed his right arm as he dove deep into the water and tried to quickly swim. He just had to make it across. Bullets whizzed by him in the water, just the other side of the lake.

No pain could compare to the burning sensation in his lungs as he came up for air but minutes later onto the grass. He shakily pulled himself up and just kept on going. As far as his legs could take him, he could hear gun shots go off, but at that distance they could barely keep their aim level. He clutched his arm pulled his hand up and grimaced at the blood and wiped it on his wet shirt. He didn't know how long he could keep running at this rate. He was bleeding and his lungs felt as if he was inhaling cold fire. He glanced behind him, the lake dissipating with each throbbing quickly slowing step.

He finally just couldn't take it and forced himself to stop and he slammed his balled up fists into the nearest tree, "Damn it all!This wasn't supposed to happen!"

This had never been part of the plan. None of it had. He dug his dirt lined nails into tree and let his head gently land onto the smooth bark. This was like the worlds most horrifying nightmare and what made it all the worse was that their was no chance of being shocked awake. The reality of this world was too much, too real, too painful. A small part of him almost regretted ever leaving home, but that was long ago. The dingy cobble stone and grimy polluted sky had held little for him. His mother had passed, his father a criminal, his mother had the right idea. Just let go.

Jack found himself sinking to the ground and he slowly raised his head to the sky. The air here was so much better, different, but the people just the same. Such clear crisp skies just didn't hold the same weight to him as it first had when he'd gone. That part of him had died ages ago. He'd give anything to just erase it all, not his past nor future, what he wanted was to just wipe the world of its inhospitable entirety and start it all over. Turning over he leaned against the tree and finally stared down at his arm.

He only focused on the intense amount of pain for all of two seconds as the sound of cracking seemed to spawn out of no where and he found himself plummeting. It was as if the ground had collapsed and the lower half of the tree had oddly managed to crumble. He watched as the light from the moon got narrow and faded off into nothingness. Jack got the feeling that there may be no end to his fall, in which case when he landed he figured it was definitely going to hurt. And he was right.

The last thing he remembered seeing was two blurry figures making their way towards him.

-x-

When he woke he had to close his eyes and open them again. He was positive that he was still in some sort of dream. The walls surrounding him were made of glass and small fish were swimming about. He shakily pulled himself out the bed he was laying on and stepped up to the glass and placed his hand onto it. He'd never seen anything like it. He slowly raised his head to the ceiling and only metal, but then he turned his head to the other wall and was graced by the vision of large yet unique looking creature. He turned his attention back to the the wall his hand was still on and jumped back three feet when something with large white teeth was sitting right in front of the glass. It was like it was staring at him. It cased a shiver to run down his spine and he turned and jumped again.

"You're really jumpy aren't ya?" the guy in front of him was wearing an eyepatch over his left eye.

"That tends to happen when you have no idea where you're at."

The guy smiled at him but neglected to answer his unasked but implied question, "How's that arm treating ya?"

Jack stared down at his arm, remembering how it had been bleeding, it was now bandaged, "Good."

"Now before you go asking questions, I gotta take ya some place, come on," he motioned Jack to follow him and lead him down a long glass hallway.

Jack started to get the feeling the whole place was somehow, underwater. He didn't even know that was possible. He just couldn't keep himself from staring, his unnamed guide had to keep pulling him out of his wonderment. The hall finally lead to a one glass wall room which looked like an old infirmary of sorts and into another hall that was all metal. When they went down a set of stairs Jack finally saw other people, in fact, there was a large group of people all talking sitting in front of a large wooden sign. There was something somewhat elegantly carved into it the words: WELCOME TO THE CITY-- for some reason a long line dragging from just below the tip of the Y.

"Beautiful ain't it?" the guy with the eyepatch just seemed so proud.

"There's a tree starting to grow around it," Jack didn't mean to sound so unimpressed, but it didn't seem to register on the other guy.

"Isn't that amazing?" he was still smiling, but now was leading him to the left set of stairs.

Jack had only been in a theater hall once, but felt like he was walking down the set of stairs for the best seats in the house. The people at the bottom stared at him in unison and all expression had dropped from their faces. A tall brunette wearing a light pink shirt under his buttoned up top with a nicely polished walking stick stood up and nodded once to Jack's guide.

"This is him?"

"Yup, him alright, did He want you to take him in?"

The brunette shook his head, "Actually He wanted us to both take him in, you how He is."

"Who?"

The two guys turned to stare at Jack momentarily before shrugging at the same time.

"How's your arm?" the brunette smirked and patted him heavily on the right arm.

Jack winced and gritted his teeth, "Just amazing thanks, how 'bout hitting it again, that'll do it wonders!"

"Oh, He's gonna love this guy!" said the brunette.

"Come on, He wanted you there the second you fell down here."

"Where_ is_ here?" there were so many hallways and rooms he could hardly keep his head straight.

"Exactly what you're going to find out in just a few minutes," said the guy with the eyepatch.

They lead him down two more long halls and one glass corridor to halt in front of a large door. Jack only felt mildly nervous as they knocked on the door. Whoever He was, was the person who apparently held all the sway here. The door opened and a short dark haired guy gave him the once over and Jack suddenly felt, confused. Was their some sort of attire he was supposed to be wearing? Were his low class clothes offensive?

The dark haired guy jerked his head behind him, a slight Italian accent coming with his words, "He can come in now."

"You-"

He cut him off, "If it's about the accent, I will strangle you."

"Just don't hear it out in these parts, you a long way from home," said Jack as he stepped through the door.

The guy cocked an eyebrow at him, "Aren't we all?"

Jack just nodded and stopped when the guy pointed to a spot on the ground. The two guides stood next to the large door, as if they were guards. They were in a large study of sorts. Rows of books lined the walls and a large chair sat at the far end of the room. It was empty, but gave him the impression that who ever sat in it was a big man. He had that nervous feeling again, but he was Jack, Jack Kelly, and he never let someone he never met get him so worked up before in his life. He puffed up his inner confidence and readied himself for who ever this He man was.

The short brunette vanished behind a well hidden door at the far end and came back out three minutes later a huge smile on his face, then asked Jack in a loud voice, "Name?"

"It's Jack Kelly," he tried to say it in as strong a voice as he could manage without sounding over done.

Then someone came out from the hidden door and deposited himself into the large chair. He was carrying a gold tipped cane, a key dangled from the open collar of his shirt, and he was young. Jack blinked.

"That's a strong sounding name you got there, Jack Kelly," the young person spat his name like it was an insult.

"Always served me well," said Jack.

"Let me ask you a question, Kelly," he took to inspecting his cane. "What exactly were you doing at the far end of my domain?"

"I fell?" Jack couldn't keep the haughty state the obvious tone from his voice.

He barely turned his attention away from his cane to arch an eyebrow at him before going back to what he was doing, "You fell?"

"Yeah, I fell, and if you got a problem with that, blame gravity."

He scoffed, "I like this guy."

"So, you actually gonna keep him?" the short brunette asked not quite low enough.

"Yeah why not," he shrugged.

"Excuse me?" Jack sounded offended not liking the phrase, keep him.

"Let me introduce you, Eye-patch is Ryan, and to your right, is Christopher I call him Skitts sometimes since he likes to skitter away when I need to yell at him," he then gestured to the short brunette in rather odd seeming fashion, "and this is Anthony."

"And what's your name?"

"Mine? Mine is very important, and if you can't remember it," he smiled "we'll find a way, I'm Shawn."

"So where am I?"

Jack had never seen or heard of this young guy in his life, but apparently he was important enough for everyone here to listen to.

"I ask the questions Alice," he slammed the end of his cane on the ground, "What were you doing at the far end?"

"I was resting," said Jack matter-of-factly.

"You had a bullet wound?"

"I was being shot at," Jack shrugged like it was nothing, wincing a little in pain.

Shawn smiled, "I take it you were being chased by the gun men of Saint Morning Hall?"

Jack blinked for a moment, did this guy know everything that went on around the freaking world?

"Yeah actually."

"Then we welcome you."

"What?"

Anthony spoke, "Saint Morning Hall is as closed off and oppressive as even the most fanatical of religious people. I swear narrow mindedness begins and ends with them. How do you justify killing someone over who they choose to be with? It's pathetic."

Shawn stood up sliding his cane into a loop in his belt, "This is The City. What we strive for here is an opportunity to be yourself and co exist with others just like you."

Jack watched him walk around the room as he spoke.

"I see that look on your face, yeah like you. We salvaged this place, I salvaged this place, with help from Anthony and a small group of our friends from home. Home is very far way, I assure you. When we found this place it was filling with water. Rubble and junk everywhere, tell him Anthony."

Shawn went to sit back down in his chair, but sat staring directly at Jack.

"The place had been some sort of project, but something had gone wrong and the people who were running the place went insane and stared killing each other. Imagine all the blood we had to wash away. Well, once all the bodies had been cleared away, long before we got here, this place had been left to rot, deemed a failure," Shawn cut him off.

"What the hell they were trying to do, no one knows, but it worked out to our advantage. All those Saint Morning bastards wish they could get their hands on us, but they have no idea how to get to us. Which is why we need to fix the problem of_ you_ falling right into it."

"I just remember the ground giving way and the tree felt like it fell to pieces, next thing I know, I'm here," Jack watched Shawn nod his head.

Shawn turned to Anthony who was now holding a small book of some sort, "Have Fletcher and uh, Nick go cover up the damage and fill it somehow."

"You want them to fill a hole that deep?"

"Knock the damn tree down, I don't give a shit, just do something," Shawn looked annoyed now.

Anthony wrote some stuff down in the book.

"So what's this keep me business you were talking about?"

"Keep means alive genius," said Shawn donning a cocky smile.

Jack's eyes widened just ever so slightly, "You really kill people down here?"

"This is our town, this our heaven, and _I_ rule it with my iron fist."

"Shut up Shawn," Anthony shook his head and handed Shawn a piece of paper.

"Anthony, not when I'm trying to intimidate the guy!" Shawn glanced down at the paper and nodded and signed it.

Anthony walked over to Christopher and handed him the paper and jerked his head in the direction of the door. Obviously the sign they were done now. Shawn just watched them leave, his right eyebrow raised as he leaned on his cane in his chair. Jack glanced behind him once as the door started to close, Shawn had gotten up and walked to the hidden door Anthony close behind.

"This might be inappropriate, but are they together?"

"Ugh, I'd rather not be reminded of those two doing things together," muttered Christopher visibly shaking.

"That intolerance can get you killed," said Ryan in a chipper tone, laughing.

"I don't care if half the people here are gay run-aways, that's just disturbing."

"Hey, fearless leaders need action too!" Ryan was finding too much enjoyment in torturing his friend.

"Where are we going?"

They simply stated at the same time, "Your new home."

XXX

A/N: All this took was my new song addiction and a mental image of Jack running in the deathly cold of night breath misting as he just ran like hell. Oh, and of course the added bits of underwater destroyed paradise. You should see my welcome to the city sign I drew, so pretty.


	2. The Building Held So little Light Before

Fair Ain't What I'm Looking For

_Chapter Two: The Building Held So little Light Before_

They lead him out of The City, well, not necessarily. Technically they were still in The City, but outside the weaving tunnels and glass encased walls. They walked for what felt like half an hour and came out a long metal tunnel lit by dim lights. Where they stopped was a mile or so to a place called Hedos. There weren't many buildings in this lonely section of The City and seemed void of people.

Christopher turned to him, "It's actually nearest to the top."

"David, the guy you'll be living with, is possibly the only person who still is cared about by his family," said Ryan.

"Though his sister was a prize piece," muttered Christopher.

"If he's still in his families good graces, why is he here?" Jack gazed up to see a large building.

"His family was, but the town isn't. Saint Morning Hallians aren't exactly the most accepting of people. As you may have noticed," said Christopher stopping in front of the door to knock loudly.

"No kidding, but I guess that means he did some unsavory things?" Jack stared at the dark windows lining the building.

"You could say that," said Ryan waving as the front door opened to reveal a curly haired brunette.

Jack raised his eyebrows and automatically smiled at the brunette, "Hi."

"David, this is Jack, he'll be staying with you for now," said Christopher gesturing at Jack.

David stared at him for a moment before extending out his hand, "Hey, uh, come on in."

The three of them followed David inside. The place was dark in color but filled with light. David lead them to a siting room. Four chairs surrounded a wooded table with glass embedded in it. Jack took the seat closest to David and Christopher and Ryan sat at the chairs across.

"So, you live by yourself?" asked Jack.

David arched an eyebrow, but then nodded, "This is more like a holding area till Shawn figures out if he can trust you or not."

"Oh."

"David," hissed both Christopher and Ryan.

"Just telling him the truth," David shrugged and walked out the room.

Ryan turned to Jack, "He doesn't like that Shawn deposits people on him."

"What with his life being at stake and all," said Christopher.

"What do you mean?" Jack furrowed his brows.

"Shawn may trust David, but since he lives the farthest away it's safe to say that if a new person tries to kill someone, it won't be someone important."

David was standing at the doorway carrying a tray of drinks, "More specifically, Shawn."

"Exactly!" said Ryan.

Christopher reached over and hit him, "What do you expect when you choose to live out in Hedos to be closer to your family?"

"Well not all of us get the opportunity to live in Rhapsody with Shawn," David set the tray on the table and handed Jack a cup.

"You have to admit, working for him does have it's perks," Christopher reached over and grabbed the cups for him and Ryan.

"Plus being friends with him when he discovered the place," said Ryan taking the cup.

"So you guys knew him before this, how the _hell _old _are_ you guys?" Jack set his cup down after taking a sip of the warm tea.

Christopher motioned to himself, "I'm nineteen, Ryan's seventeen, Anthony's sixteen going on seventeen in like a week, and Shawn's fifteen going on sixteen in about three months."

"Why do you guys all follow the fifteen year old?"

"There's just something about him you have to respect," said David staring down into his own cup.

"Shawn went through hell and back to be the kind of person he is today," Ryan finished off his cup and put it back down on the table.

Christopher did the same and stood Ryan followed suit, "There are a lot of things about Shawn that new comers aren't privy to, but one thing should be made clear. Try _anything_ and you won't live to face the next five minutes."

"Way to intimidate Chris," said David waving as they walked out the room to leave.

The room was silent till Jack finally decided to voice a question, "Does every building have name?"

David stood to collect the cups and tray, motioning Jack to follow him, "It's more like sectors. Shawn lives in the largest sector thusly named Rhapsody. They all had names before we got here."

"So Anthony wasn't lying when he said the people who lived here before went crazy?" Jack stared at the elaborate kitchen as it came into view, the place was stark white, glistening.

"No, and that notebook he carries, now has your name in it by the way," David deposited the cups in the sink and tossed the tray on top of the small pile of other brown trays.

"What's that, like, a list of people he don't trust?" Jack continued to follow David who lead them out the kitchen.

David started up a spiraling stairway. The walls had pictures hanging on them of people Jack assumed were David's family. A blond woman, a man with short hair and a mustache, a young boy with dark hair, and a long haired brunette girl. Jack could have sworn he'd seen her somewhere before.

"He has a variety of notebooks. People who live in The City, what sector they live in, who they live with, people who no longer live here and why. He's meticulous about keeping records," David opened a door and lead Jack into a room.

"I take it this is where I'll be staying?" Jack walked over to the sparsely blanketed bed and pushed down on the mattress, testing its softness.

"My room is just across the hall, extra blankets are kept in the closet along with the towels over there and there's a bathroom connected to your room," David pointed him in various directions.

"If you don't mind my asking, what part exactly do you play down here?" Jack sat on the bed.

"Resources, sort of. Once a month Anthony gives me a list of things we need, first aid, fabrics, an assortment of things with a set amount of money that we, acquire. I give the money and the list to my parents who buy them and I bring it all back here."

"I suppose being on good terms with your family has its perks," Jack didn't mean for it to come off the way it had.

"My parents understand and respect all the decisions I've made in my life and I don't appreciate someone who _just_ fell from the top calling them _perks_," David walked out the room semi-slamming the door as he left.

"Pushed a button apparently," Jack just stared at the door for a moment.

-x-

Shawn sat perched on his chair as he watched Anthony filing things away. All of Anthony's notebooks looked more like real books and filled up half the study library. That wasn't to say that none of the books were actually literature. Shawn was more then willing to share so long as people weren't adverse to being watched as they picked out reading material. Only a small handful of people actually came to get books so it didn't really interfere much with Shawn's business of sorts.

Anthony turned and smiled when he found Shawn watching him. The two of them had known each other since they were seven and eight. It had just been the two of them till they'd hit thirteen and fourteen. Anthony's parents had been so warm and caring while Shawn's had been distant and in the midst of divorce. That year Shawn had met Nick in one of his classes, they hadn't hit if off at all as friends.

In fact, Shawn had been so mean to Nick that an older boy, Ryan, and his friend, Christopher, had came to settle things. Nick had been no where in sight. Anthony remembered that scuffle so well. Shawn had jumped straight to violence, a product of his fathers violent tendencies, and pummeled the hell out of Ryan and Christopher. When the two had only come to talk.

It was at that point Nick seemingly appeared and without warning angrily hit Shawn in the face. Shawn had been taken aback, but had a new found respect for the boy. At the time Shawn had only laughed and told the boy he had moxie and simply walked off a smile on his face. That night, another reason Anthony recalled that day so vividly, was the night the two of them sat in the dark of night and finally admitted something they'd been so scared of admitting.

The door flung open and David angrily walked in, "Yeah, that new guy you stuck me with, not gonna happen."

"I take it he already did something wrong?" Shawn arched an eyebrow at him.

"He called my parents perks, they're not perks, they actually _give_ a crap!"

"Don't have to tell me twice, but can you blame anyone for thinking something like that down here?" said Shawn rolling his cane back and forth between his hands.

"Well-"

Anthony cut him off, writing something in a notebook, "You have to remember you're alone in your group David, the rest of us never had the luxury of good caring parents who continued to care after they found out. The fact of the matter is-"

Shawn firmly jabbed his cane on the ground between his feet, "We trust _no one_ but ourselves, regardless if they help us or not. Keep in mind, your family is in a very _dangerous_ equation, we might end up being they're get-out-of-jail free card. I _ain't_ having that."

"Beg your pardon?" David frowned.

"We keep close tabs on everyone, remember that, little Davey," Shawn nodded his head in the direction of the door, clearly done with the conversation now.

David gently took a deep breath and quickly turned on his heels out the door.

Shawn looked to Anthony and laughed, "My god the _balls_ some of these guys have."

"Well those balls are the reason we found out that guy even fell down here," Anthony paused, "well, more like the body with the mouth that's attached."

"You can never fix the sentence you messed up, I command it so, it wouldn't be funny otherwise," Shawn smiled at him.

Anthony tossed his notebook carelessly aside and cocked a grin at Shawn,"Why don't you command me to do something more worth while?"

Shawn was about about to, but paused, "I always thought it was wild...but I guess while makes more sense."

"Please don't ponder, it always ruins the moment," Anthony hung his head.

"I can _fix_ that," Shawn reached over and pulled Anthony closer to the chair.

"Take as long as you need," Anthony's voice went low as he inched closer to Shawn.

The door was flung open once again.

Shawn jerked his head in the direction of the door, "Nick, I want you to strangle David, and then, yourself."

"What I do this time?!" he looked surprised and defensive, hands in the air.

"Forgot your manners!"

"But I was coming to tell you food was ready," he folded his hands behind his back and smiled in a genuinely friendly manner.

"Who cooked, Ryan or Chris?" asked Shawn grabbing his cane and sliding it through his belt loop.

"Chris," Nick smiled.

"Thank Rhapsody,"muttered Shawn as he and Anthony followed the other boy out to the dinning area, closing the door behind them.

-x-

The sound of silverware clanked and scrapped against the plates loudly as Jack and David ate in silence. Jack was under the impression that he highly offended the curly haired boy, which was actually the farthest from what he wanted to do. He was going to be living with this guy and a hostile atmosphere was the last thing he was looking for after falling down here. David sighed again for the eleventh time during their meal and twentieth since he'd returned home from where ever he'd stormed off to earlier.

Jack finally decided to chance a look at David.

David paused in the gentle jabbing of his food and slowly raised his head to lock eyes with Jack.

"I'm really sorry 'bout what I said earlier 'bout your parents," Jack went to staring back down at his food.

David stared at him for a moment, no one had ever apologized to him before. Everyone down in The City loved to insult him, regardless of the fact that he brought in a lot of the luxury things they wouldn't be able to get on their own. No one dare do it though when Shawn was in the same room as he. Shawn liked to install random strange rules such as: insult someone to their back not their face. How that was supposed to help, David never quite got, but when it was David by himself no one followed it. Only those close who lived with Shawn followed most of them to an informal degree.

"...thank you," when Jack actually looked at him David felt a smile subtlety twitch itself onto his face.

Jack when he smiled, David noticed, seemed to light up the room. This was the first time in ages someone had smiled at him and meant it. That was excluding Nick, who smiled genuinely at everyone. David always got the feeling Nick was overcompensating for something, but the only person Nick ever really talked to deeply about things was Ryan.

He picked some food off his plate and actually started to eat, maybe Jack could be his Nick. David smiled then caught his train of thought and mentally berated himself. Jack would probably turn out to be exactly like the rest of them, but a small part of him desperately hoped otherwise. Though as David had learned, hope was a very desolate thing in his position.

"So what do you guys do for fun down here?"

David looked up from his plate, "Well, I could show you around Hedos, but that would only take twenty minutes. I would show you Rhapsody, but I try to avoid that place at all costs unless I'm being summoned."

"Or, you know, you get angry at your new tenant," it wasn't hurtful, more like poking fun, and subtle inquiry.

David nodded and smiled, "Yeah, or that."

"How many people live, uh, here in Hedos?" Jack didn't want the conversation to die.

"Well, there's Robert and Fletcher, oh uh, Tace, Linda, Anika he's a strange one, a lot of un-noteworthy people excluding Fletch. He and Nick are like the handy men around The City. The only reason Fletcher lives in Hedos is because Robert doesn't do too well in large groups."

Jack had ceased eating, which David found slightly funny, no one usually stopped to listen to him, so he just kept going.

"He actually lived in Saint Morning Hall, like me. The only difference is They got a hold of him," David polished off his plate and rose to take it to the kitchen.

Jack wolfed down what was left on his plate and followed David, "They?"

"Not the gun men. If you're actually rich enough, you know, come from a well off family They come and take you away. They being the Reformers. They think they can fix you, but it's more like destroy. Same thing happened to Shawn, but back in his own home town. I _never_ said any of that by the way."

"I never heard of these Reformers before, but if they got Shawn...why ain't _he_ so bothered?" they rinsed off their plates clean in the sink and sat them in a rack.

"It's hard to say, the only people who actually know are Ryan, Chris, Nick, and most definitely for sure Anthony. Every once in a while I have to make urgent runs in the middle of the night to get medicine and take it straight back to Anthony," David really wished he could shut his mouth, he was revealing too much.

"I guess everyone's a little screwed up," muttered Jack as he leaned against the counter.

"So why were you running?"

"I was being chased by the Sai-"

"I mean to begin with Jack? Why'd you start?" David leaned against the counter as well.

Jack paused for a moment then stared down at the opulent tile, who ever built this place put a lot of money into it, "I no longer had reason to stay,"

"I didn't have the choice," David pushed himself off the counter and headed for the stairs, "I'm going to bed, I'll see you in the morning, night Jack."

Jack simply watched as David made his way up the stairs and out of sight. He learned so much just out of one conversation. He got the feeling that David hardly got the chance to talk to other people in a friendly manner on a daily basis. There was a thin wall surrounding David and Jack could tell the curly haired boy desperately wanted someone to break it and catch him. Well, really, David just struck Jack as extremely lonely and he just wanted to make the guy smile more. That was all, reallly.

-x-

A/N: I'm excruciatingly enjoying writing this fic and I hope those of you who are reading it are enjoying it as well. This is the first time I've tried to do something like this so it means a lot to me in many ways. It's a long way from high school fic's and the average teenage hook-up story. Kind of makes me feel like I'm growing up as a writer. -ha, I'm twenty-one, married, and living in Idaho, take that growing up!-

**Chapter three: Castle Made Of Sand**

What we see in our dreams, what of reality could possibly compare? Jack might find nightmares may be better.

Ps. much love for Girlwithabrokenheart, for reviewing, I'm glad you're liking this!


	3. Castle Made Of Sand

Fair Ain't What I'm Looking For

_Chapter Three: Castle Made Of Sand_

He could hear it, that sound again, the room was freezing cold. An onslaught of shivers jolted through his body and his breath ghosted in the air. He was locked in a rusty metal room laying on the cold metal table covered by nothing more then the thin clothes they made him wear. Loud clanging went on just outside the heavy metal door and an odd sound of laughter. The sound of shooting, the sound of screaming, he flung his hands tightly to his ears to cover them. It never helped, it always came through no matter how tight he pressed his hands to his skull.

Everything seemed to waver and then all went black.

A calm and serious female voice spoke, "He's not right, break him."

A bright light flooded the room and pierced his eyes the room was too bright to see anyone. He'd lost track of how long he'd been in this place. Though he honestly believed it was a little under a month.

The next thing he felt was excruciating pain. He felt like severe pressure was being applied to his head.

A sudden wave of nausea hit. His breathing picked up. He could barely keep it steady. He suddenly felt very hot, cold sweat as his skin prickled and he shivered. He couldn't stop trembling.

Everything wavered again and went black.

He could hear voices, people talking, talking about him. What they planned on doing with him now that his parents had killed each other. Good riddance, how dare they send him to this place. At least there was something he could find solace in. Oddly enough, knowing just that seemed to make half the pain worth it.

Somewhere off to his left a female voice spoke, different from the other voice that usually came, "That sounds _good_, we'll take him..."

Shawn bolted up in bed, he was shaking violently, hyperventilating, and sweating profusely. He felt so cold. He surveyed the room and tried miserably to regulate his breathing. Next to him Anthony slept peacefully on his side one arm stuck under his pillow.

He clenched his eyes shut still breathing too deep, too rapidly. Carefully he got out of the bed and braced himself against the wall as he made his way to the bathroom in the dark. The room was spinning, but he didn't want to bother Anthony with this.

He slightly fell forward as he made it to the bathroom catching himself on the counter top. Slowly he crouched down and reached under the sink to grab a brown paper bag and sat down on the shut toilet and started breathing in and out of the bag. He didn't bother turning the light on, he didn't want to see the state he was in, it always made the situation worse.

He was Shawn, he was the leader of this place, there was no room for him to be falling apart at the seams from pathetic memories. God, why couldn't he slow his breathing yet? He hated this feeling. He hated that dream. His body continued to shake violently.

A voice came from just outside the door causing Shawn to jump violently in his place.

"You ok Shawn?" Anthony turned on the bathroom light and groggily stepped in.

He nodded, "Y-yeah."

Anthony stared at him for a moment, trying to focus then realized that Shawn was shaking and breathing into the brown paper bag, "How long have you been like this?"

Shawn shrugged, "S-since I w-woke up."

Anthony pressed the back of his hand against Shawn's forehead, "You're fucking burning up!"

"R-really? Because I feel f-fucking cold," Shawn tried to laugh, but it only made him sound worse.

"Want me to send David out?"

"Anth-ony w-we have enough medicine to to cure a century," Shawn hated how he couldn't stop stuttering.

"Let me get you something," Anthony reached for the cabinets above the sink and pulled out a small brown box and pulled out four white pills, "This should make the fever go."

"Now if-f only they had a p-pill to make the shak-ing s-stop," he dry swallowed them.

Anthony frowned and grabbed the cup they usually left in the bathroom and filled it with water and handed it to Shawn. He took it and all but gracefully swallowed all the contents and shakily handed it back to Anthony and continued to breath into the bag.

"Let's talk, if you're talking, you can't hyperventilate," Anthony sat down on the floor carefully tugging Shawn down next to him.

Shawn leaned his head down on Anthony's shoulder, his eyes clenched shut as he continued to breathe into the bag.

"So the new guy, what're your plans?" Anthony started stroking Shawn's damp hair.

Shawn pressed the back of his semi clenched hand to his eyes, "Uh, s-show of faith...angh."

"Patrolling already?" he could tell Shawn was in pain.

"Yeah, I kind of got p-plans for the guy," Shawn lowered the brown paper bag, finding more comfort in Anthony's touch and voice.

"What kind of plans?"

"You'll find out-t if he passes today," his voice was becoming a little more stable.

"You going to be out there with him?" Anthony didn't for one second doubt Shawn would be in danger of any sort, but after nights like this Shawn was always a little off his hinges at some point.

That's what worried him.

"Who better to judge?"

"I guess I'll send out the summons first thing in the morning."

"Good," Shawn had started shaking less.

"How you feeling?"

"Good."

"You feel like heading back to bed?"

"My s-side of the bed's completely covered in sweat," his voice was much more steady.

"Why don't we take a lukewarm shower and by the time we get done everyone should be waking," Anthony smiled gently down at him.

"Yeah, sounds great," mumbled Shawn.

-x-

He and David were sitting in the dinning room quietly eating once again. Only this time it wasn't in an uncomfortable silence. It felt warm and inviting, Jack could hardly ever remember having this feeling before in his life.

"I was thinking, maybe I _would_ show you around Rhapsody today," David looked up from his plate.

"Sounds great, cause it sounds to me like The City is a confusing place."

"Well Rhapsody is only one sector, there's still Gotheral, Bythindril, City of Rocks-"

"City of Rocks?" Jack looked up from his plate.

"It's, not really a place many people tread into. It had the most bodies from what I understand, half of which Shawn had killed when he got here."

Jack gaped for a moment, "..., he what?"

"Well, not _everyone_ had been killed, the ones who were still alive had severe mental and physical problems. What's a freaked out thirteen year old to do?"

"Go on a killing spree?" asked Jack disbelieving.

"I'm surprised he's as sane as he is," said David going back to his food.

Jack stared down at his plate. A slight awkward silence now.

When the door was knocked on loudly they both jumped.

Jack swallowed hard and looked to David, who shrugged and stood. Jack followed seconds later.

David opened the door to reveal Christopher.

"Well don't you two look happy to see me," Christopher smiled, he was holding a white envelope.

"The summons, who is it for?" asked David letting him in.

"Nothing gets past you," Christopher only took a few steps into the place.

"What's going on?" Jack felt a little out of the loop.

Christopher flipped the envelope so that the giant gold and red S was facing up, "Actually, Jack, this summons is for you. I'm supposed to take you as soon as you're ready."

"What's it for?" asked David watching carefully as Jack took the envelope and tore it open.

Jack quickly scanned the letter, "Alls it says is that I'm supposed to go to Rhapsody immediately at Shawn's _request._"

"He's testing him isn't he?" asked David frowning.

"You're a very un-trusting guy for someone whose got a lot of _trust_ placed in them," Christopher seemed to find it amusing.

David ignored the comment, "Jack, finish eating before you go."

Jack and Christopher watched as David left the room.

Jack turned to Christopher and shrugged, "Uh, I guess I'll finish eating."

"Probably for the best, you'll probably be gone for a while," said Christopher nodding in understanding.

David was nurturing, yet, distant to almost all the people who ever stayed with him. David left for the the same reasons he had. He'd been a sympathizer, _accidentally_ outed by his sister Sarah. Christopher had actually liked her, that was till he found out what kind of person she was. That was almost a year ago now.

Jack walked out of the dinning room, "I guess I'm ready now."

"Good," Christopher lead him out the house to Rhapsody.

Upstairs David watched as the two of them walked off down towards the tunnel to Rhapsody. He sighed and wondered why Shawn was testing him so soon. It had been at least a week and a half till Shawn had tested him when he came to live in The City.

David turned his gaze from out the window to the photograph hanging beside it. It was a picture of him and his family, a sepia tone, and worn around the edges. This had been taken just days before he'd had to leave home. All because his sister couldn't keep her mouth shut.

Not even hours after he and his sister had returned from the market someone had come banging at his parents door. Sarah had tried to press her explanation that she didn't think anyone of importance had been listening. Though David knew that Sarah could care less who was around when she got caught up in her own world.

They had opened the doors and took him away. He was gone for two weeks, and Robert, who also lived in Hedos now had also been taken away. When David finally got home he knew he had to get Robert away the second the Reformers let him go back home. That's how he met Christopher and heard about The City. It really did feel like a long time ago...but at least he was stronger now in ways.

-x-

Jack had to wonder why exactly it was only he and Shawn running around the top "patrolling". He almost got the feeling Shawn was out to kill him discreetly. Shawn for some reason looked a little on edge. They had just spotted someone too close to a hidden entrance and devised a plan to capture him and take him down for questioning.

Shawn was currently perched in a tree, having told Jack to be the one to take the guy down. Jack figured it had more to do with the fact that Shawn was the leader of The City. Can't have your supreme teenage ruler killing over.

The guy seemed to noticed something then turned and paused, Jack took this as his moment to deck the guy. His plan to take the guy down in one blow didn't quite go off as he'd expected and Jack was struggling to win. The guy had flipped him causing the air in his lungs to exit hastily, leaving Jack coughing and gasping for air. The guy tightly pressed his arm into Jack's neck, cutting off his air.

Jack thrashed and desperately tried to yank the guys arm from his neck. He caught a glimpse of Shawn in the tree above an eyebrow cocked. The expression on Shawn's face wasn't disappointment or approval either, more like interested. Jack reached up and pressed his thumbs as hard as he could into the guys eyes.

He didn't get much chance to do anything since Christopher, a brunette wearing glasses, and a fair skinned black kid came to his rescue. Shawn came down from his tree and crouched down to stare at Jack.

"I really thought you were gonna die," Shawn was smiling, like he was impressed.

The fair skinned black kid turned to Jack, "His eyes are _bleeding, _I don't think I could ever do that."

The brunette wearing glasses helped Christopher lift the limp guy.

"Kelly, that right there is Nick, good kid," Shawn had gestured at the fair skinned black kid then to the brunette, "and that's Fletcher."

"Good kid? Shawn, we're the _same_ age," said Nick smiling brightly and helping Jack up.

"Not for long kid," said Shawn cocking his head.

"Me and Fletcher will take this guy to the holding place," said Christopher.

"Yeah, Nika told me Robert ain't doing too good, so," Fletcher shrugged obviously anxious to get back home.

"Chris can take him, just go home," said Shawn waving him off dismissively.

Nick was still smiling, "Jack right? How you feeling?"

"I think I prefer being shot at," muttered Jack finally able to inhale a proper amount of air.

Nick laughed, it sent an odd shiver down Jack's spine, it just sounded too genuinely cheerful.

This was the last of the people Shawn kept close to him. Anthony, Christopher, Nick, and Ryan. The three of them continued to wonder the top for a few more hours, but came across no one else.

Nick took this opportunity to show Shawn his and Fletcher's handy work on covering up the hole Jack had fallen in. While the two of them bonded over the covering of The City, Jack stared out across the lake. A long haired brunette girl was standing at the other side, like she was waiting. Jack stared behind him, Shawn and Nick were staring at her as well now.

Shawn leaned over and whispered something to Nick who nodded and left.

The girl across the lake jerked her head in a different direction and walked off. Jack for the life of him, couldn't help but compare her to the picture hanging on David's wall. At the same time though she reminded him of that girl who got him caught...

"We got other pressing matters, Kelly, lets go," Shawn walked off not bothering to see if Jack was following him.

The pressing matters Shawn spoke of was the guy they had just captured. When they got back to The City Shawn had lead him down an array of corridors down to what felt like the deepest core of the world. It was cold, it was damp, and traces of blood still lingered on the metal walls. Jack got a feeling he knew where Shawn had taken him, where they had taken the guy. What a horrible place it was.

Shawn opened a heavy metal door and the first thing Jack noticed was how the _entire_ room was covered in dried blood. Spatters everywhere, like they used it to paint the metal walls. The guy was laying on the floor, a notebook was resting on the only piece of furniture in the room, a rusting metal chair. Water was dripping from a crack in the corner, the only sound.

Shawn picked up the notebook and scanned through it then snapped it shut. He walked over to the guy, his wrists and ankles tied together. Shawn slugged him across the face and the guy groaned. Jack winced. He understood that he probably deserved it, but he was human too.

"Wake up now," said Shawn in a cold voice.

Jack suddenly wished it was someone else in the room and not him, Shawn looked...void.

The guy spat out a string of curse words and Shawn hit him again busting his lip in the process.

"I'm going to ask questions, you're going to _answer_ them," Shawn slowly started to circle the guy, hands folded behind his back.

Jack could only watch as Shawn drawled out questions and seemed to get angrier as they were not answered. At one point Jack had to look away as Shawn grabbed the chair and slammed it over the guys head.

The guy spat out more curses and garbled out sentences that hardly made any sense.

Shawn flung the chair across the room causing Jack to flinch and duck. Shawn now had a gun pulled out and pointed at the guy.

"I'm going to ask you one more time, if you answer, I won't kill you, if not..." the look on Shawn's face made it seem like he didn't even consider the guy to be of flesh and blood...like he harbored no soul.

The guy nodded and Jack exhaled happy that this would be over soon.

"What are they planning?"

The guy was spitting out blood as he spoke and Jack could only gather bits and pieces of what he was saying. Though what he did understand was that they had someone who was in contact with this place. That they were hoping to get close to him, Shawn, and take him out. To start a civil war of sorts within and make it fall apart.

When the guy finished Shawn merely arched an eyebrow and walked over to Jack and handed him the gun.

Jack took it and stared at Shawn, "What do you want me to do with this?"

"Kill him," said Shawn simply.

"You said you weren't gonna," Jack felt his pulse pick up.

"I say a lot of things Kelly, you can either do it, or get the hell out The City."

"I'm not gonna kill him!"

"You don't have much of an option!"

"Screw you, that just ain't fair!"

"Yeah, well fair ain't what I'm looking for!" yelled Shawn as he roughly took the gun walked over to the guy and shot him straight in the head...point blank.

He arched an eyebrow at Jack and wiped the specks of blood off his hands on the guys shirt and headed out the metal door tossing the gun aside as he left.

Jack just stood there shaking, staring. He looked at the guy on the floor, blood starting to pool around his head, mixing with the leaking water. Jack closed his eyes and as calmly as he could walked out the room, shutting the door behind him.

As Jack walked down the hall lost but determined Shawn lit a cigarette and inhaled. Anthony opened the door the notebook in his hands as he shut the door behind him.

"He's not so bad."

Shawn only nodded and headed off down the corridor a plume of smoke in his wake. Anthony simply jotted some things down in his notebook and followed after.

-x-

A/N: Wow, what a chapter. Quite a lot going down in The City, Jack's so out of the loop for now. Though now I'm sure he prefers it. Don't ask me why, but when I first drawled out the notes for this what I had down was a scroll sign with welcome to the city. It sat dead center top on the blank white paper. Then I wrote notes around it different events, as it was folded in two . A handful of quotes and a general plot. It grows every day.

**Chapter Four: Off His Tree Top He Goes**

Having wanted a place in the world, when you get it, is it really worth it?


	4. Off His Tree Top He Goes

Fair Ain't What I'm Looking For

_Chapter Four: Off His Tree Top He Goes_

Jack figured he had to have been roaming the City of Rocks for hours. He was undoubtedly lost and that terrified him. He walked around corridors that never seemed to lead anywhere just to more corridors. Finally he found himself walking down some steps that lead to a glass dome hallway. A globe sat in the middle held in place by copper metal peaking to a point at the top. He walked over to it, a small plaque was embedded at the base it read: For he who dares to dream of a utopia of his own.

Jack traced his fingers along the cool metal and his fingers fell from it as he went to stare out the glass window. There was nothing out there today. No exotic looking fish or large creature. Just the sight of the metal and glass walls. Across he could see into another glass hallway. It was deserted. He really was lost. He dropped his head to the glass and closed his eyes and slid to the ground.

He found himself wondering why he just didn't leave this place to begin with. He was sure that if he'd said something about not wanting to stay in The City, Shawn would have let him go... On second thought, maybe Shawn just would have had him killed. Another name to add to their death count in Anthony's notebook. It was really-

Jack paused and lifted his head.

Footsteps softly shuffled along down the other hall.

Jack slowly inched his way to the globe and hid behind it. He didn't know what he'd do if it was Shawn, well maybe try and deck the kid. Though Jack had to admit his skills at defending himself were a little rusty. But running for your life was just so much easier then trying to defend yourself sometimes. Most of the time.

Sometimes he really _did_ regret leaving home. Yeah the sky had been gray for as long as he could remember and life had been very hard, but at that time he hadn't done anything to warrant being chased. The further he'd gone from his home town the more he'd strayed from everything he'd ever been taught. His mother had been a good person, he truly felt that she never would have judged him as he was now.

A voice called his name and Jack snapped back to the situation at hand.

"David?" Jack peeked around the globe, he was by himself.

"Jack, thank Rhapsody I found you," David smiled as he walked over to him.

"This place is insane," Jack stepped away from the globe and actually hugged David quickly.

David stiffened for just a moment and hugged Jack back and then let go, "Uh, yeah..."

Jack didn't seem to notice David's reaction, too happy to be found by someone he deemed sane, "I thought I'd never get out of this place, how'd you find me?"

"The usual method, I asked," David shrugged.

Asked was more of an understatement, having barged in once again into Rhapsody. Doors had been flung open, Chris and Ryan reluctantly answered his loudly yelled question since Shawn was refusing to see anyone at the moment.

That only lead David to believe that Shawn didn't so much as leave Jack to _think things over_ as Chris had put it, but had left him to wonder aimlessly lost for days. Shawn had done it on more then one occasion, David himself being one of them.

"Oh," Jack shrugged and smiled, then frowned abruptly, "Shawn's fucking crazy."

"He's not crazy, he's just... I don't," David walked over to the glass wall and stared out it, "he's kind of like a castle, you know, made of sand..."

"A castle made of sand?" Jack raised a skeptical eyebrow at David's back.

"He's big, lots of people notice him, he's entrancing, but all it's going to take is a big wave to come crashing down."

Jack stared at him confused, but David didn't elaborate. He just continued to stare out the glass window and pressed his warm hand against it.

After that, David like he said, showed him around Rhapsody, but it was filled with awkward silences and people sending David dirty looks. Jack could hear the whispered insults and snide remarks, it actually was starting to make him angry. But since he was still new here he knew there wasn't much he could do about it.

David turned and stared over to a strange looking dial sitting at the very center high wall in the middle of Rhapsody. This place of course looked familiar to Jack. On the opposite end sat the large long stairs he'd followed Ryan down, the WELCOME TO THE CITY-- sign in the middle.

"We better get back, I told Fletcher that he and Robert could have dinner with us tonight."

Jack simply nodded and followed David happily back to Hedos.

Half way back down the long lit tunnel Jack turned to David, "Dave? I _can_ call you Dave right?"

"Dave, David, Davey, whatever," David shrugged, but honestly felt his pulse pick up for minutes after.

Jack was the first person, besides Shawn and he didn't count, to call him by a nickname. Excluding his family, but he didn't live there anymore.

"Well, Davey," Jack smiled at him and David couldn't help but smile back.

"Yeah Jack?"

"I was kind of hoping, you know, after this days experience, maybe I could just keep living with you?"

David bit the corner of his bottom lip to keep from smiling so much and nodded, "I'd like that Jack."

-x-

He was very quiet. David made him open the door when the two had arrived. Robert, when Jack met him, didn't seem too strange. Jack had already met Fletcher in passing that morning, which reminded Jack that Christopher _and _Fletcher were supposed to take the guy the holding place. Jack had to wonder how one got to be so desensitized about things like that.

They were all sitting in the kitchen as David continued to make the food, making Jack help by cutting the vegetables. As Jack cut up carrots on the cutting board he watched Fletcher who was reading to Robert on the other end of the counter. He didn't seem like a bad guy, he spoke in a firm but soft tone and oddly enough had a gentle feel to him. And if somebody like Robert had been taken by those Reformer guys and still trusted Fletcher, well he couldn't be that bad.

"So what're you reading?" asked Jack now moving on to the celery.

"Of Mice and Men," was Fletcher's reply as he turned a page.

Jack paused and raised an eyebrow, "Ain't that a little on the depressing and sick side?"

David snorted, but continued to cook.

Fletcher smiled, "It's actually Robert's favorite book."

Robert looked to Jack and nodded. Jack just shrugged and went back to cutting the vegetables and Fletcher went back to reading. The kitchen became quiet, sans for Fletcher's low reading, David's stirring, and Jack's vegetable cutting. He couldn't help it, he started to hum under his breath.

For the life of him he had no idea why he was humming _that _song, but it was the only one he could hum without messing up. Under his breath he started quietly singing to himself, getting lost in the sound. He'd learned it from that girl. She wasn't so bad at first, but when she caught him, all hell broke loose and well, he went running.

Jack stopped singing the song under his breath when David loudly dropped an empty pan to the ground and stared at him. Fletcher had winced and Robert's hands shot straight to his ears his legs pulled up to his chest, eyes clenched shut.

"_Where_ did you learn that song?" David looked both slightly panicked and angry.

"Uh, some girl in Saint Morning..." Jack didn't understand.

David was getting louder as he spoke, "When!?"

Jack stared wide-eyed for a movement and then found himself speaking louder, "I don't know! A few months ago, why?"

"Stop yelling, stop yelling," Robert was rocking back and forth while Fletcher glared at the two of them as he tried to calm him down.

"What did she look like Jack?" David's voice refused to lower even though he knew what it was doing to Robert, he felt so bad, but for some reason couldn't stop.

"David, for all that use to be holy, goddamn! You're freaking your friend out!"

David seemed to now be ignoring this fact, "Jack, I'm not joking! What did she look like!?"

Robert sprang out the chair and ran out the room, loud footsteps leading upstairs.

Fletcher shot both of them a glare again, "Fucking David! Stop obsessing! Why do you have to let her get to you so badly!?"

They watched as Fletcher sprinted upstairs in search of Robert.

David turned to Jack and looked guiltily to the floor, "I just, I'm sorry. My sister, she just, screwed a lot of people over and expects me to believe it was always an accident."

Jack raised an eyebrow, "A long haired brunette, always wore long brown skirts and white shirts."

David looked up at Jack but didn't say a thing, instead he stared over their heads towards the ceiling, "Maybe, I'm gonna apologize to Robert and see if Fletch calmed him down some."

Jack waited for all of two seconds before lowering the heat on the stove and following after David. Jack always had to be in everyone's business he had no idea why. Too much curiosity and hated knowing too little. It took him a minute or so, but he found them two sets of stairs later at the end of the hall. David and Fletcher were kneeling in front of a closed door trying to coax Robert out.

But all that came from behind the door was yelling, he wouldn't stop saying, "I can hear them, I can hear them, they're out there, I can see them!"

Jack stopped a few steps away from them, "He locked himself in the room?"

David and Fletcher stared at each other.

Jack for all his worth, tried not to look too worried at their expressions, "Did either of you try the door knob?"

Jack walked over to the door and simply twisted the knob there was a light click and the door gently opened.

David and Fletcher shared a look again and had the decency to look embarrassed.

"Well, go," Jack made shooing hand gestures.

Robert had only been in the room for four minutes at best, but the room looked like a wreck. The mattress had been ripped from the bed and used to block the window. A rather large dresser miraculously had been tipped over and shoved against the mattress and a smaller one blocked the bathroom door.

Shower curtains were tied oddly together to keep whatever was in the bathroom out of the actual room. The box spring for the mattress was half shoved into the closet tearing. Jack had to marvel at his ability to quickly trash a room.

Robert sat in the corner of the room, "They're gone right?"

He was shaking.

David and Fletcher both nodded.

"Good," that seemed to calm him down a bit, "good."

Jack was confused. Shawn acted nothing like this, in fact he was the creator of loud noises. At least he was basing that assumption off the fact that Shawn loved to slam his cane down and shoot people.

Once Robert was calm enough, though not enough to leave the room as of yet, David and Jack went back down stairs to finish making dinner. It was done without conversation, but full of guilty looks and lots of sighing. Pretty much all by David.

When they finished making and plating everything he and Jack carried it upstairs to Fletcher and Robert. They had turned on the lights and were sitting in the middle of the wreck reading. Robert was actually reading now. He seemed a bit shaky, but better off then before.

After five minutes David turned to Fletcher, "I'm really sorry."

"David," he glanced at Robert who was now sitting next to Jack who was trying to talk to him, "you know as well as I do that he's not gonna be a hundred percent right, not for a long time."

"I know," David roughly ran a hand through his hair frustrated with himself.

"Then you need to tone down the yelling. Robert's like a high strung puppy," Fletcher set his empty plate aside.

"Puppy?" David smiled.

Fletcher rolled his eyes, "You know what I mean."

Across the room Robert arched his eyebrows up at Jack, "You're talking a lot, why?"

"To you, or in general?" asked Jack as he shoved more food into his mouth, it tasted so good.

Robert shrugged and for a brief moment frantically glanced around the room.

"Figure a guy can always use more friends, especially down here, right?" Jack smiled at him.

Robert, for the life of him couldn't quite pin it down, but felt extremely comforted by Jack's smile. Like Jack was one of the few genuinely nice, caring, and sincere people on the planet. It was a real and warm smile, you hardly got those down here.

"Yeah, you're right," and Robert, much to Fletcher and David's surprise, smiled brightly.

David and Fletcher once again shared a look, but found themselves smiling as well. Jack just had that effect on people when he smiled. It was a major contrast to Nick's cheerfulness...Maybe everyone close to Shawn just wasn't right, but maybe at one point, they had been.

-x-

When it came, two days later, David refused to let Jack go by himself. It was obvious that Shawn had come to his decision. Ryan was leading them back to Rhapsody talking a mile a minute about what he planned to cook for Anthony's upcoming birthday. Ryan, try as his little heart desired, was no gourmet chef. His food usually came out bland or too salty. He was apparently under the impression that the more seasoning you used the better it would taste. He was far from right.

"So then we didn't tell him it was actually me who cooked, well he guessed after he took a bite. I never know how he can tell who cooked," said Ryan as he scratched his back at an odd angle.

Jack watched in morbid fascination, "Uh-huh."

"Because Chris can _actually_ cook," said David making sure to stress the word actually.

"What're you getting at?" he _sounded_ genuine, but Jack got the feeling he just pretended.

"Ryan, I'm going to say this and know you'll ignore me, but YOU CAN'T COOK!"

Ryan winced and Jack rubbed at his ears.

"Why thank you David, I'm glad you like my cooking!" he lead them up to Shawn's now familiar large door.

David flung his hands in the air and rolled his eyes as Ryan went inside quickly then let them in.

The door shut loudly behind them and only Jack walked towards the middle of the room. He glanced back, David was standing next to Ryan at the door. He supposed since it was actually only he who had been summoned David had to stay back.

"I got a job for you Kelly," Shawn would never quite look the same to him after that day.

"Yeah, and what's that?" clearly uninterested in what Shawn had to offer.

A slow and curling smile made its way across Shawn's face, Jack found himself swallowing a lump in his throat.

"How does running Hedos sound?"

Jack blinked, "Come again?"

"I've been looking for someone to run Hedos. Little Davey," and he took this moment to stare pointedly at David then back at him, "ain't so high on everybody's trust list. I hear the things they say about him and I ain't so stupid as to let him run it."

He raised an eyebrow as if in challenge.

"I suppose not," drawled Jack.

Shawn snorted, "Believe it or not, people like you Jacky-boy."

"I've only been here for 'bout five days and one of them I spent lost trying to buy food."

"Apparently you made a good impression," Shawn pulled out his cane and started picking at the gold tip.

"I'm all for having an actual role down her, but running Hedos? According to Dave only un-noteworthy people live there," Jack watched as Anthony jotted some things down in a green notebook.

"Jack," Shawn slammed his cane down hard, and said his name strong and loudly, "this is one thing I seriously ain't giving you the option. You-run-Hedos."

Anthony took over still writing things down in his notebook, "As such, there are meetings of sorts you'll have to attend, regardless of the hour. Certain attire you have to wear on certain occasions, it's a learn as you go process."

"It sucks!" bellowed Ryan.

Shawn shot a finger at him, "Captain One-eye, muzzle."

Ryan shrugged. David snickered.

"Of course there are other _obligational_ duties you'll have to_ fulfill. _No wussing out because you can't handle a little blood, that'll get you killed. _Us_ killed and Rhapsody help you if it's someone important," the look on Shawn's face sent a shiver down Jack's spine.

The moment was killed though as the door flung open causing Ryan and David to frantically jump away. Nick joyfully ran in, a bright childlike smile adorning his features.

He waved a batch of letters in his hand, "Hot off the presses! Our darling birthday boys party invitations! Complete with red and gold S and A looping, very nice I have to say."

Shawn's right eye twitched and he chucked his cane across the room at Nick who continued to smile appreciating the envelopes as he dogged it.

"Did I do something wrong?" he chanced a look around the room.

Ryan and David looked at him like he was crazy, only Ryan's expression was more borderline _I love you still,_ while Jack couldn't suppress his laughter.

Anthony looked red and was hiding his face with his left free hand, closed notebook in the other.

Shawn just sighed and gestured to Jack and David, "Just give them theirs so they can leave."

"Heya David! Here this one's yours!" he handed David one then over to Jack, "Jack, Jack, look, yours is special, because you have rank now!"

Jack's was embroidered with lacing red and gold, while David's wasn't. So, he was invited to Anthony's birthday party, a chill ran through him. Nick was smiling brightly, Anthony still looked embarrassed, Shawn looked angry, Ryan anxious. It was like he was standing in the court of a deranged king and his insanely happy jester, anal and uptight queen er lesser king, and their incapable knight.

The only people who struck him as sane were he, David, and possibly Christopher, who was no where in sight.

-x-

A/N: I was trying to make Robert aka Dutchy a contrast to how Shawn aka Spot behaves having been sent to these Reformers. It didn't go off exactly as I pictured, but damn close. And if you haven't noticed, Sarah does play a _bit_ of a role in this.

**Chapter Five: From A Third Story Window**

What harm could flipping through Anthony's notebooks really do? Or rather what can it lead to?


	5. From A Third Story Window

Fair Ain't What I'm Looking For

_Chapter Five: From A Third Story Window_

Jack looked to David, the two of them simply sitting at the back of the building they lived in. Staring up would only make Jack feel disappointed. There was no sky down here in The City. All this place had to offer was cold metal, glass, and even colder, slightly damaged, and strange people.

Jack looked beside him; David was staring at the ground. It wasn't real grass, but it came pretty damn close. From what he understood it never grew, never died, just stayed green.

"I can't believe you told Shawn you refused to move," finally came David's voice, somewhat amused.

Jack smiled, "Well, I said I wanted to live with you didn't I?"

"I can't believe he let you stay."

"I'd hate living by myself, in a big empty place like this? I don't know how you do it, Davey," though he did understand.

"I was the one who found you, you know?" David looked to him.

"You did?" Jack stared him straight in the face.

David immediately went back to looking at the ground, "Yeah, everyone patrols, well except Robert for obvious reason. You were out cold, and very heavy."

"Carried me all by your little self, didja?" he smiled and nudged David's arm somewhat laughing.

"I'm usually on my own, so," David slightly smiled and shrugged.

The smile on Jack's face dissipated and he nudged David till he looked at him, a serious expression on his face, "Next time you patrol, I'll go with you."

David nudged Jack back and smiled, "You don't have to."

"Yeah well, Davey, I want to," Jack just decided to lean against instead of nudging him again.

David stiffened, still unused to someone so close to him; his voice came out a little tight, "...thanks, Jack."

"So, Anthony's party, day after tomorrow, I don't have to bring a gift do I?"

David snorted, "Like you could afford one or even go out and get one for that matter."

"I'll just take one of your expensive looking mirrors, regardless of the weird melting around the edges on the glass,"Jack sat up straight looking to nudge him again.

"Uh, I think that's called _stealing,_" David nudged him back smiling a little brighter, some of the awkwardness of touching abating.

David was starting to get the feeling that Jack was just a very hands on kind of guy. He also seemed to talk a bit with his hands the more comfortable he got. Jack also seemed to enjoy talking; he was an oddly happy guy.

"Stealing, borrowing with no intention of returning, all the same thing," they were still in a nudging contest.

"Till you borrow something from the wrong person," David attempted to swat at him and missed.

Jack caught him laughing slightly as David teetered forward, then paused upon realizing how close they were to one another's face. For a brief moment they just continued to stare at each other.

Jack swallowed and said barely above a whisper, "Ain't that the story of my life."

David seemed to catch up with reality and straightened himself up, "Uh, anyway, about Anthony's party, we just have to attend, that's all."

"Should we...bring food?" Jack noticed just a hint of color on the other boy's face.

David stopped right before he said no, then opened mouth again, "Probably, because if Ryan really is cooking, Anthony should get at least _one_ edible dish."

Jack simply nodded.

As luck would have it, David had been sent notice that he had patrolling duty. First thing in the morning, as soon as Fletcher got back from his shift, which usually took place in the dark between morning and night. David didn't bother Jack yet; they still had sometime before light would pick up on the surface. So he decided he'd make something to eat.

They would only be out for five hours; they would be covering for Christopher who had apparently disappeared for the better part of yesterday. Shawn hated it when people left without notice. Christopher had actually been doing it a lot more recently, no one really knew why. So Shawn was going to be yelling at Christopher for a few hours, then be sent to do some kind of grunt work. That's usually how things worked down here.

A noise came from the top of the spiraling stairs and David looked up moments later to find Jack in a disheveled state hitting the last step. Jack was rubbing the sleep out of his eyes, scratching the back of his leg, and yawning. David found it quite comical for some reason. Like maybe Jack was nothing more then a kid, but that was probably most surely far from the truth.

"Morning Jack," David went back to finishing up the food.

Jack all but gracefully fell into a chair and rested his chin on the counter, watching David, "What're you doing up, s'early. Too early."

David smiled down at the sandwich halves as he placed them in a small wooden box, "What about all that talk about patrolling with me?"

"You kidding me? We have to do it this early?"

"Sometimes earlier Jack, you should probably go get ready," David set the wooden box aside and wiped his hands on a dirty cloth.

Jack looked like he stifled a random painful hick-up slash yawn, his body slightly bouncing in the process.

David winced, "You ok?"

Jack thumped his balled fist against his chest and cleared his throat slight color touching his face, "Yeah, uh, I'm gonna go clean up now."

David followed Jack's suit and went to change and finish washing up.

After two and half hours Jack and David settled in on the branch of a rather large tree so they could eat. It was high enough and full of leaves so that someone walking below couldn't see them, but not the other way around. Jack was finishing up his second sandwich as David looked curiously over at him.

"Jack, can I ask you something, you said before that the reason you started running was because you had nothing left to stay for, right?"

Jack nodded, sort of realizing what he was getting to.

"Well, if that was the case that only meant you had left...So, I guess, why did you _really_ start running?" he continued to stare at Jack, that perplexed look still adorning his face.

Jack cleared his throat and took a drink from the canteen then took a deep breath before starting.

"I met this girl," the look on David's face made Jack smile, "I was under the impression I was normal, see?"

David held back a small laugh and smiled as he took a bite of his own sandwich.

"I don't even remember her name anymore, lively little thing though. Found me ducked out in an empty house. Came to visit everyday gave me clothes and brought me food. We got along very well."

"If you got along, what happened?" David handed Jack another sandwich.

"Her brother. She took me home one day and damn he was something to look at. Didn't know that's what I was thinking at the time, caught on real quick though. Scared the hell out of me when I realized it."

He looked to David and just continued.

"So I started to overcompensate, you know what I mean? Steal nice things to give her, kiss the back of her hand, opened doors for her. She liked to say she made me. I ain't no puppet, didn't wanta be compared to one neither."

David furrowed his brows, "You did something drastic didn't you?"

Jack smiled and ducked his head, "She was furious. Yelled at me a lot. Regretted bringing me to her house where I could _pervert_ and _taint_ her brother."

"You didn't?" David looked shocked and surprised, but very interested.

"She said she had a feeling I was one of _those_ people, said she should have known better rather then look past it," Jack looked a little annoyed as he kept talking, "little self proclaimed princess thought she could have it all. Got her brother in trouble in the process of trying to rat me out."

David looked slightly mortified, as he entertained the thought that this girl and his sister could probably be the best of friends, "What happened?"

"I called her a liar, plain and simple. Brother said she was making it up too. Got to thank my father for being a very convincing liar."

"What happened to her?"

Jack shrugged really quick and continued with an equally very quick answer, "Got fined for lying to the authorities. I left that night and got as far away as my feet could take me and just kept going. Running didn't happen for months later once they found out the truth. Sort of like I'm a regular old fugitive."

David smiled, "You're definitely in the right company."

"Yeah, I guess you're right," Jack put on a somewhat goofy opened mouth smile as he bit into his sandwich.

-x-

The party was anything but grand. They were in a different room in Shawn and Anthony's building, a large and structurally decorated dinning room. A huge plaque above the entryway was destroyed marring the name of whom ever use to own this extravagant building, Shawn's name spray painted above it.

The food that sat on the table _looked _edible and _smelled _good, but Jack and David still looked a bit wary. They were sitting at a long rectangular table, Anthony and Shawn sat in the middle facing the door, no one apparently was allowed to sit at either head of table.

Ryan, Nick, and Christopher all sat across from the birthday boy and his lover. Jack was a little annoyed how no one else was sitting on the other side of the table. He was crammed next to Robert, while Fletcher and David sat at the other end of the table.

"We need entertainment, you two, sing," Shawn stared over at Christopher and Ryan.

Both looked baffled, but Ryan spoke first, "I'm sorry, I didn't take choir then dropped out to become part of the barbershop quartet years later for your amusement."

"But you and Chris were _good_," said Nick tugging on Ryan's sleeve.

"Seriously Shawn, that was high school," said Chris helping himself to some food.

"You act like no one can hear you two when you think no one else is around," said Shawn scoffing.

"I don't want to hear them sing, it's my birthday, I'd like to keep my hearing," Anthony smiled and shoveled some food on to Shawn's plate.

Shawn stared at the food on his plate, if it was at least one thing Shawn was scarred of; it was Ryan's cooking. At least that thought amused Jack.

"WE CAN SING!" both Christopher and Ryan popped out of their chairs, hands slamming lightly on the table.

Robert flinched for a second but he stared down at his empty plate then down the other end of the table where Fletcher was at. That seemed to calm him down.

"Damn right!" Shawn smiled, satisfied he'd got his way.

Jack had to hand it to them, they _were_ really good. After they finished, Shawn stood up and cleared his throat.

"So, another year has past and," he slapped his hand down on Anthony's shoulder, smiling, "the damn bastards still kicking. Take that fucktards."

Anthony stared up at Shawn, a strangled astonished look on his face, "Shawn, this is why I don't let you write your own speeches for special events."

"It's like our first Christmas all over again," muttered Christopher, but in a well-meaning manner.

Shawn heard him, "Fuck them and their holidays. Down here, every day's a bar mitzvah."

"You're only saying that because I'm here, and also Shawn, WOW," David couldn't help it sometimes.

Shawn shrugged, "Religion still exists, right?"

Jack shrugged, Anthony smiled, David rolled his eyes, and everyone else of coherent sanity all smirked and tried stifle their laughs.

"What?" he furrowed his brows, but sat huffily and undignified back in his seat.

"Cake!" yelled Nick hauling Ryan out of the room and into the kitchen.

Anthony turned to Christopher, "I get cake, this really _is_ the best birthday ever. Shawn's mad, Ryan didn't cook-"

That comment seemed to make everyone else, apparently only Christopher, Anthony, Ryan, and Nick seemed to harbor this knowledge, dig into the food.

The cake was a decent size, white whipped cream cheese for icing decorated with light blue frosting for ribbons. Everyone got a piece whether they wanted one or not. Jack was under the impression that cake was a rarity down here. Robert poked at the cake, but seemed hardly interested in actually eating it.

Jack turned to talk to him, but then Shawn abruptly shot out of his chair taking Anthony with him.

"We'll be back in a few minutes, entertain yourselves till then, I gotta give Anthony his birthday gift," he dragged Anthony out of the room a devious look on his face.

"_Just_ a few minutes?" Christopher smiled as Shawn's indignant yell came from down the hall, but he didn't come back in the room.

Jack looked up and saw David making an odd motion; he frowned for a second till he got it. He grabbed his plate and politely asked Fletcher if he would change seats with him. Fletcher happily obliged and moved to the other end of the table.

"So, what's up?" asked Jack as he sat down.

"You looked bored," David shrugged and smiled.

"Where's the bathroom in this place?"

A rather odd squawking sound came from down the hall, everyone stopped and stared for a moment. Then they all went back to their own conversations.

David got up, "I'm going to show Jack the bathroom, we'll be back."

"Actually the regular one is out of commission-"

"You mean stopped up," supplied Nick smiling.

"Yeah, that, so you'll have to use the one in the study for now," said Christopher pointing at the door to leave the room.

"Break enough toilets, Chris?" muttered Fletcher.

David lead Jack to the door and they could hear the others still talking as they closed the door.

"It was Ryan's fault this tim-" their voices tapered off the farther they walked from the dinning room.

Jack looked sheepishly at David as they entered the study also known as Shawn's room of business.

"What's wrong?" David looked worried.

"I didn't actually have to go, I just wanted to know where it was," he shrugged.

"Oh, um," David closed the door behind them, "I guess we should wait a few before going back, don't want to look suspicious or nothing."

Jack shrugged.

David for all his talk about not looking suspicious started running his fingers along the rows of notebooks. He shrugged and grabbed one at random.

"David, I don't think we're supposed to be doing that," Jack walked over to him, glancing over David's shoulder as he opened the notebook.

The words on the pages were very neat written, extremely elegant handwriting. Jack watched as David's finger started following the words on the inked page half way through the left page...

--

_Shawn was hardly different, but hardly the same as well. In the beginning he would randomly strike out violently, hardly ate, he was so thin. Then he got it in his head somehow that he was always being watched. It was driving him crazy. He'd locked himself away in his room and I wouldn't see him for days. Then one day in the middle of the night Shawn came to my window and woke me. My window only opened halfway, so that I couldn't leave. It had been that way since Shawn and I got caught. I had been a prisoner in my own home while Shawn had to suffer alone in that horrible place._

_He told me he was leaving, that he'd be back, but at the time I honestly thought I'd never see him again. He'd taken everything of value from the home he'd been placed in and planned on selling it to find a new place. A safe place. I really thought he lost it. He'd shakily slid his hand through the space in the window and I desperately held onto it because I truly did believe I'd never see him after tonight. We stayed like that for quite a while till he finally pried his ice-cold hand from me and walked away. It would be months before I saw him again._

_In the time he was gone Ryan and Nick had been found out. Ryan was in the same position as I. Nick never spoke about what happened to him, but Ryan said he could give Shawn a run for his mental strength. Chris wasn't so badly off as us, but still got punished for being a sympathizer. He was lucky. I'd heard that sometimes sympathizers got it worse then the convicted. No simple quick death or someone messing with your mind to try and fix you. It usually ended with the sympathizer being driven to kill themselves out of guilt and shame._

_The next time I saw any of our group was the night Shawn came back. He and Chris and a box of tools finally got me out of that wretched room. There was little time for celebrating as we all moved to Ryan's. He'd been staring vacantly at a blank white piece of paper surrounded by torn scraps of paper with writing scrawled on it. The second he was free of his room he rushed straight for Nick's._

_It had been so much harder to get him out and we'd had so little time left before we got found out. They had built a special place to keep Nick. It was tall; a dim light shone through the bottom windows __and flickered. When he peered inside a man sat sleeping on a chair in front of an old TV. We took it as_ _a sign and I did the sign of the cross top, bottom, left, right and I silently prayed as Chris, Ryan, Shawn, and I scaled the building._

_We checked window by window, Nick's was at the top. It must have only been minutes, but felt as if we'd hit some pause in time and dragged on for eternity. Once we got the window open Ryan climbed inside, but there was no sign of Nick. The gray blue wallpaper was tearing and the bed was neatly made, like it had never been slept in. A long rope sat on the edge; it had been tied into a noose. No one said anything. That's when we heard it, the rhythmic sound of gentle thumping coming from the closet._

_When Ryan opened the door, there was Nick, his arms wrapped around his legs as he rocked back and forth tapping his head against the side of the closet. The look on Ryan's face was something I'd never forget. It tore at me for days, more so, because of the fact that when Ryan reached out his hand the bright smile Nick wore when he took it, never died after that._

--

David slammed the book shut, "I really feel like I just invaded someone's personal privacy."

"Uh, you did," said Jack.

The both of them jerked their heads in the direction of the door. The sound of Shawn's voice just outside caused a jolt of panic to course through their bodies. David quickly shoved the book back in it's place and turned to Jack.

"Kiss me!"

"What?!"

"Seriously, right now!"

David didn't wait and yanked Jack against him causing the two of them to crash into the books. David winced in pain and some of the books fell to the floor. David clenched his eyes shut and meshed his and Jack's mouths together. David realized he should have came up with a better plan, because he didn't want to stop kissing Jack when the door opened.

Though Jack had been caught off guard it didn't stop him from deepening the kiss. He may have got a little carried away as they slid down. David banged his head on each shelf as they slid to the ground.

"Wow, really not what I was expecting," said Shawn leaning against the door frame.

"_Thanks_ for knocking the books down," said Anthony arching an eyebrow at them, "if you're gonna be doing that, go home."

David finally pulled away from the kiss and just stared directly up at Jack trying to catch his breath. Jack stared down at him doing the same, ignoring the fact that Anthony and Shawn were talking and watching them. What he knew, what he felt was so, different then all the other times he'd ever...David was different. Jack suddenly came to the realization that what he felt for David was more then just respect and friendship. A warm smile touched Jack's lips as he continued to stare down at David.

At that moment David felt like this weight had just been lifted off his shoulders. Not two seconds later the smile that crossed David's face, was real. It was obvious to him, it was obvious to Jack.

Anthony slid his hand over Shawn's mouth and whispered to him, "I think...David, just fell in love?"

Shawn removed Anthony's hand and whispered back, "Just?"

"Well..." Anthony shrugged and cocked a smile.

"I'm all for letting them have their moment, but this is my _throne room_ in a matter of speaking."

Anthony nodded in understanding, "Okay you two, take it back to Hedos."

Anthony clapped his hands loudly breaking Jack and David out of their moment causing a hint of color to tint David's face, while Jack just grinned sheepishly at Shawn and he.

Jack got up and reached out to David who took his hand obviously needing the help to get up.

"Uh, I guess we'll be going now, happy birthday Anthony," said David quickly walking out the room.

"Sorry, fearless leaders lover," Jack just mock saluted and casually strolled out.

Anthony turned to Shawn, who shrugged and shut the door behind the exiting pair.

-x-

A/N: Don't ask me why, but I desperately enjoy revealing the kind of pasts they had. So we found out Anthony's notebooks hold more then just population count and death toll.

PS. Much love to Polkadot-Sunstar for betaing this chapter!

PPS. Check out the song Driftwood: A fairy tale by Cursive. I wrote Jack and David's conversation during patrolling to this song. One of many songs in this fic's soundtrack!

**Chapter Six: I Wish To Hell**

How Chris met Sarah and Jack got David.


	6. I Wish To Hell

Fair Ain't What I'm Looking For

_Chapter Six: I Wish To Hell_

It was bright and one of the first few times he'd gone out to Saint Morning Hall alone. Usually he and Ryan would go, but everyone except he and Anthony were sick. So Anthony stayed below while he went to fetch food and medicine and the other usual items of want. As he made his way into the market that's when he saw her.

She was beautiful and had a warm smile. She wore a brown shirt and white blouse, like always, her hair spilling over her shoulders. The sun hit her brilliant brown hair and he did his best to pick up supplies and follow her at the same time. He figured himself lucky, the curly haired brunette who he'd once thought was her lover, was not around. He'd discovered in passing that the boy was only her brother. He finished up the last of his purchases and strolled up to her.

"It's a lovely day, isn't it?" he smiled at her.

She cast her eyes down for a second, a smile touching her lips as she spoke, "Yes, it is."

"So, what's your name, just, I see you all the time and I think you're beautiful," they kept walking down the market alley.

Her smile got brighter and she paused for words, "It's Sarah, Sarah Jacobs, and you are?"

"Just Christopher, but Chris works equally well," he loved her smile.

"Well, Christopher," she smiled more as his smile faltered for a moment, "I'm very flattered."

"But?" he looked like he was trying to cover that he was somewhat distraught, but still hopeful.

She laughed, "There is no but."

She stopped at a stall and bought some fruit and vegetables.

He took that moment to go to the next stall and buy some thick blankets, since the nights were getting colder. When Sarah met up with him she frowned, staring at the contents of his bag.

"What's wrong?" his joyful smile faltered again more serious now.

"Nothing, it's just," she pointed at his bag, "why so much?"

"Oh," he smiled again, figuring his story could help him, "some friends of mine are sick and can't leave, so they sent me out to pick up things."

"Crap, you're one of _those_ people aren't you? You're like my brother," Sarah took notice of all the things he'd bought.

"Excuse me?" he looked offended, but not for what would have been the normal.

"Cigarettes, first aid, blankets, home jarred soup, it's like you providing for an army of disgusting sinners," she wasn't even looking at him anymore.

"Sarah, they're people, they have nobody. Is it so wrong to care? They're my friends," he really wanted a reason to keep liking her.

"Yes, you're letting them think it's alright. You can be sent away for that," she flung her hair over her shoulder, her eyes catching something in the process.

"Well, what about your brother," at least he'd picked something important up.

"David's an imbecile. He's going to get himself caught helping that Robert guy hide his disgusting affair with that strange Fletcher," she cast a cold look toward the end of the market road, "sometimes I think _he's_ that way."

Christopher frowned and followed her gaze.

--

He blinked coming to the realization, "I know where I've seen that guy before!"

Ryan and Nick both paused in the process of cleaning the mess left from the party the night before, "Who?"

"That new guy, Jack."

-x-

David stared at his reflection in the mirror mounted above his drawer. His bed was neatly made and everything a light shade of blue. It was his favorite room because it was the brightest; he turned and stared at his room wondering how long it would take to drive himself insane. He'd told Jack to kiss him because he wanted a viable enough reason to not get into any trouble for them being alone in the study.

The fact that Chris and the others knew he was taking Jack to the bathroom completely slipped his mind. Still, wouldn't have been a good enough excuse as to why they were by the notebooks, granted the books were _every where _in that room. Worse yet, he knew that if he hadn't done anything he would have looked guilty and given them away.

Everything had been fine and they had spoken normally to each other as they'd made their way back to Hedos the night before. When they'd said good night David had practically ran off to his own room and quickly shut and locked the door. That's where he'd gone wrong.

He let the whole thing get over thought. David really didn't understand why he always over thought things. Jack didn't seem to mind at the time. In fact, Jack seemed to be more then ok with what had happened. If anything the look on Jack's face had seemed somewhat confused when they'd separated.

Was it normal to hightail it and run after kissing someone, David really had been beating himself up over that.

He jolted at the sound of a knock on his door, "Who is it- I mean, yeah...?"

"Can I talk to you?" came Jack's voice.

Internally he said no, but when he opened his mouth, "Sure, Jack."

He took a deep breath and opened his door and stepped into the hall.

"You do live," Jack smiled, "I was starting to think you were never gonna come out."

"Yes, yes I do," he started to head down the hall so they could sit downstairs and talk.

David knew it was obvious that he was a little nervous, but Jack just smiled as he followed him down the stairs.

"So, uh, what did you want to talk about?"

"'Bout what happened at the party-"

"I shouldn't have, I just couldn't think of another solution quickly enough-"

Jack smiled while sitting a little more forward in his seat, "Davey, slow down, it's really okay. I'm more then fine with what happened."

"You're- what?" David looked ready to start rambling an apology, but Jack's words had stopped him.

"The last time somebody kissed me like that," he shook his head, "I don't even know, it's...…"

David furrowed his brows, "It's what?"

"Well I mean think about it, two people are set on this earth who are meant for each other. Whether we find each other or not, it's up to fate," Jack shrugged feeling a little awkward mimicking someone else's words.

David skeptically raised an eyebrow, "Are you trying to tell me you think we're meant for each other?"

"In so many words……." he shrugged, "not _meant_ for each other, just we met for a reason, I guess."

"Jack, you and I, we're living together. Making things more complicated shouldn't be one of your top priorities."

"You're down here because you're a sympathizer up there, but have you ever been with……. anyone?"

"That's not really any of your business," said David in a clipped tone.

Jack rolled his eyes, looking a little annoyed at David's prudeness as he wanted to call it, "I'm touching nerves again………look David, it's OK."

"Making things worse is not OK, and yes, I'm changing the subject," David stifled the urge to strangle Jack for asking such a personal question.

"How is this worse?" Jack splayed his hand back and forth between himself and David.

"I like you Jack, I do, but this is crossing a line I know I can't come back from," David tried not to pull out his hair as he roughly ran his hand through it.

"I think you need to relax for a second an-" Jack seemed somewhat taken aback as David cut him off.

"I can't Jack! It's _different _for people like me or Chris or half of all the other people who live down here to _suddenly_ decided that- Hey, they're not just going to be "sympathizers", they're going to be PART OF THE PROBLEM!"

Jack stared wide-eyed, then looked somewhat offended, "The _problem_, Davey, get your head around it, what we do, who we like or even love for that matter is never a bad thing or a damn _problem_. Half you guys spent your whole life being raised to think two people of the same gender could never feel the same as a man an' woman. That's a load of goddamn crock."

"Well aren't you just the grand captain of freaking obvious? Yeah, we were raised to think that way, but we wouldn't be here if we honestly _believed_ all the load of crap they feed to us. I wouldn't be here..." David knew his voice dropped a few octaves as his words tapered off.

-x-

Shawn sat in the study flipping through one of Anthony's green notebooks, blue ones lay open scattered across the desk he sat at. He'd been staring at the blue notebooks all day. There was only so much he could take in. All the information they had on Saint Morning Hall and he still felt like they knew nothing at all. The green notebook reminded him why he'd been pouring over those damn blue ones.

Anthony's system was pretty simple. Green notebooks held memorable events. Blue notebooks, all the information about Saint Morning Hall and their plans. Brown notebooks were filled with the names of those who lived in the city. Red notebooks centered mostly on the behavior of certain people, like Chris, who had developed a recent tendency to disappear, Robert who was clearly never going to get better, and of course there was Nick who liked to pretend everything was a hundred percent ok all the time.

Shawn even found his own name in those red notebooks, along with his little problem. The last of the notebooks, was the black one, rightfully filled with the death count and sometimes accompanied by reason for...

Shawn slammed the green notebook shut at the mention of his name and Anthony recounting the first time he'd ever seen his lover ruthlessly kill someone. When Shawn did things like that he honestly could barely remember doing it. He shuddered.

The large door opened and Anthony quietly shut it behind himself, he looked up to lock eyes with Shawn.

"Hey," Shawn never realized that whenever Anthony walked into a room his eyes always lit up for just a split second.

Shawn remembered those days he'd spent without Anthony's company. The time he'd spent being _reformed _and the time he voluntarily left to just try and fix everything. He'd known Anthony was worried they'd never seen each other, but at the time he was really determined. Not even the fact that his nightmares kept him up for days could stop him from giving them some sort of real life. Even if it did turn out to be a very depressing one at times.

"How goes the research?"

Shawn shrugged, he really did love Anthony.

"Look, just cause the guy lived in Saint Morning a year before he landed here doesn't mean anything. I mean, look at us, just having people go missing up there doesn't automatically mean they're coming here," Anthony took a seat next to Shawn.

"He should have said something," Shawn started piling the books together.

Anthony rolled his eyes.

"No really, I mean, I trust the guy when my better judgment tells me that I shouldn't."

"Better judgment?" Anthony raised an eyebrow.

"Oh shut up, I want you to send him here. Little Davey can just cool his jets outside for this one, but if he wants to help Jack, well, that's his prerogative."

Anthony picked up one of the green notebooks from the pile and started flipping through it. Shawn watched as pages flocked to the other side of deep green cover. He could feel the skin on the back of his neck prickle with what felt like cold needles and his body tensed somewhat visible in his raised shoulders. He closed his eyes and took in a quiet deep breath when he opened his eyes Anthony was stopped on a page and was staring intently at the eloquent inked letters. Shawn was always paranoid about what Anthony really thought of him; he knew that he still hadn't read all of Anthony's notebooks.

Without saying anything Shawn slammed the notebook shut and violently chucked it across the room.

"What the hell?!" Anthony glared up at him.

Shawn glared coldly down at the person who was possibly his whole world and said, "Send out the fucking summons _now_."

Anthony decided it was best not to dignify this side of Shawn with any real response except his facial discontent. He knew that look and if bated Shawn always rose to the occasion and would later revert to locking himself in a room for days and not eat. It was better to have a pissed paranoid lover then a self starved leader who was on the verge of losing his mind.

As he shut the door behind himself he could hear more things being thrown and breaking. He sighed, at least they had time to clean things up before Jack and David showed up.

-x-

Jack could barely understand why Shawn was so mad at him for not saying he'd been living in Saint Morning Hall for quite some time before falling out with the town. Though apparently Shawn felt it held a lot of sway. It seemed to Jack that something was also a bit off about Shawn today. The look in his eyes was like that day in the City Of Rocks, Jack shivered, he really didn't want to know what would make someone look that way. The tone of his voice seemed so clipped and piercing.

Anthony also seemed very unhappy looking. He'd stood an obvious couple of feet away from Shawn blandly writing notes. The room seemed so full of tension and was a swirl of indescribable emotions. Jack could only stare and nod trying not to irk Shawn, but knowing that it didn't matter because he was getting some sort of punishment anyway. So he'd only mouthed off a little.

He sighed and took the brief pause in thought to stare over at David who had stoically followed him to Rhapsody and to his sentence afterward.

The two of them were knee deep in water clearing it of empty first aid kits, broken chairs, and soaked ratty old dolls covered in torn fabric. He stared at the ceiling as the lights flickered and buzzed. David let out another long depressing sigh and finally just threw a rotting chair back into the water. It splashed and flecks of water hit him in the face as he looked defeated.

Jack walked over to him and hauled him over to what looked like an old dentists chair and they sat next to one another. David stared off to the side and Jack stared down at the molding brunette doll.

"This place is so depressing," Jack's voice came out so low.

David turned and stared down at the doll in Jack's hand, "Kind of makes me afraid to know what really happened down here."

Jack cracked a smile at David's voice, but didn't say anything.

David took the doll from Jack's hand and gently as he could, wrung the water out of the doll and smoothed out the wrinkles. Some of the hair came off and a moldy smell dusted the air, if he opened his mouth he could taste an earthiness like wet dirt and moss.

Jack turned his head at the sound of something bumping on the metal wall, a small box half floated through an open vent near the floor. The tin box looked like it was covered in rust, but got the feeling it wasn't. David leaned down to pick it up, setting the doll down in the process.

Without saying anything and with a small fight from the lid David opened the box. Inside sat a small tape recorder and a couple of tapes; he looked to Jack as if saying with his eyes _now what?_

Jack rolled his eyes and took out the recorder and hit play.

A loud scream came from the recorder piercing and high then it stopped abruptly, a grainy sound following after. Seconds later a female voice started to speak.

"_It was supposed to be a utopia, somehow it turned out to be quite the opposite. Like those dystopia's you read about in books and saw in movies. It's hard to say what really started it all. It was supposed to be our Eden. We could do as we pleased, create as we liked, far from the hands of oppressive thoughts. Continue on in unadulterated, untainted, peace. At some point it went terribly wrong. So many lives..."_

Jack and David both stared at each other, she sounded close to tears, then the recorder made another high pitched scream and David hit the stop button.

"I'm sorry, you know, about how I acted earlier. I'm just terrified..." he took the tapes out of the tin box and set the doll in it and shut the lid.

"Of what?" Jack set the tapes aside; he figured maybe Shawn might be interested in them.

"I like you Jack, a lot, and that scares me. I've never felt this way about anyone, then again no ones ever given me the time of day. Not down here or up there. When you spend the better part of your adolescent life alone and then find somebody willing to stick around for any reason, you suddenly realize how scared you're going to be alone," he jumped off the chair, water splashing.

Jack watched as David crossed the flooded room and sent the tin box back through the open vent.

"You have no idea do you?" David didn't turn around.

Jack's voice came out low as he spoke, "I never had friends, people just always seemed to gravitate to me. They thought they knew me, but the person I set out for them, it wasn't ever really me. It can be just as lonely being surrounded by people."

"I find it hard for you to ever be lonely," David lightly smirked at the wall.

"I've been lonely all my life Davey."

David turned around and stared at Jack who was now standing half leaning on the chair. He reflexively tried to half dig his finely trimmed nails into the wall and an awful sound echoed in the stagnant water filled room. Both David and Jack winced.

Finally David spoke, "I suppose...it wouldn't be so bad, if we were alone together..."

Jack smiled softly at David's somewhat hesitant posture,"Me neither Davey."

"I really do like you Jack, don't screw me over."

"Right back at you..."

The two of them just remained in their positions for a little while longer before giving up for the day and quietly walked out of the empty part of The City. If Shawn wanted to complain, he could do it later, all Jack and David knew was that they just wanted to go home and rest. They could pump out the water later.

XXX

A/N: I just moved, and since my husband will be deploying in two weeks Sev (they didn't tell him till after we moved) is sad to say she has no idea when she'll get to post again. She's hoping to push out another chapter before she has to make the lovely thirteen hour drive back to good ol' California. (and by her I mean me)

**Chapter Seven: It Was Just A Sound**

Oh Sarah, Oh Sarah what have you done? You sent your brother away and your parents aren't home. Poor little David's caught up in the wake of your faults and mistakes, now you've no one left to blame, and dear Jack's picking up the pieces.


	7. It Was Just A Sound

Fair Ain't What I'm Looking For

_Chapter Seven: It Was Just A Sound_

Ryan passed his canteen over to Nick who was sitting next to him on the large tree branch. Their feet swung in rhythm with one another as they ate. Nick's habitual smile still in place as Ryan watched their feet in odd fascination.

"We have to be the _worst_ two people to patrol ever."

Ryan stopped staring at their feet, "Of course we are, _this_ is all we do."

"Well, you know, besides other things," Nick quirked an eyebrow at him.

"Can I take the eye patch off? I swear if I wasn't already blind in that eye, I'd be going," he bit into his sandwich, chewing loudly, he was never a quiet eater.

"No, eye patch equals sexy!"

"Eye patch equals _rash_."

"Now you're just making it up," Nick tossed bits of crackers at him.

"No I'm not, let me throw scolding hot water in your face and tell me you don't want to scrape it against a tree just to counterbalance the pain."

Nick frowned, confused, "What does that have to do with rashes?"

Ryan chewed loudly for a moment then furrowed his brows in confusion, "I'm sorry I lost my train of thought, what were we talking about?"

".............." Nick shrugged.

"It was important, something to do with trees......."

"Well, trees _are_ important."

"Niiiick, can you be real for a moment?"

"I _am_ real, I don't know what you're talking about."

Ryan sighed and leaned against Nick's shoulder before leaning over to kiss him on the cheek. Nick's smile seemed to soften and he reached for Ryan's free hand and laced their fingers together.

"It's going to be ok, you know that right?"

Nick sighed, "When I'm with you everything has to be fine."

Ryan's eye seemed to unfocus for a moment and shimmered with years of unshed tears. He blinked, it was gone, "No it doesn't and it won't always be."

"Ryan? What are you talking about?" Nick smiled at him, but his grip was tight.

"Nothing, Nick, nothing."

"Nah, it's something," Nick pointed out in the distance, "looks like we got business."

Ryan frowned for a second and tried to make out the figure in the distance, "Oh, great, should we rock, paper, scissors to see if we should tell Shawn or get David?"

"Sounds like a plan to me!" said Nick as he placed his fist in his palm.

"You Shawn, I David?"

"You be Shawn, I wanna be David."

"I don't wanna be Shawn....."

"NOBODY DOES!" Nick slapped his hand over his mouth and stared wide-eyed for a moment.

"You thank Rhapsody he's not around," Ryan smiled at his lover.

"Forget that, I'll thank GOD," muttered Nick.

"Ok, so I'm Shawn, you're David, ready?"

Nick nodded.

"Rock, paper, scissors."

-x-

She remembered that day so vividly, like most other people in Saint Morning Hall. Really who would have thought that David Jacobs would have been a sympathizer? Let alone the fact that he'd been helping the more then wealthy Robert Mavlotski sneak around with his ..........friend, Fletcher. If the fact that they were committing a horrible act wasn't enough, Fletcher was really aiming too high and Robert for all his wealth was reaching far below his means. She really had to laugh at that thought, if it wasn't intolerance there was always class.

She paused as a fallen tree branch cracked beneath her foot. She stared up into the trees, then slowly turned on the balls of her feet to stare in the other direction. With her eyes still cast to the tree tops she slowly turned back around and kept walking.

That boy, Shawn, she shuddered, was the damn leader of the pack of everyone who lived in The City. David was pretty much not so forth coming with many details on his new home though she definitely got the feeling that her brother did not see it as one.

It wasn't even like she'd done it on purpose, but that day she suddenly realized how much she said was heard.

-x-

David for the life of him could hardly contain his anger. He stared at his sister, face calm, but inside he was a swirl of emotions. It seemed like more and more she'd show up across the lake, hiding just around a set of tress, trying to walk stealthily through the forest. Shawn was going to have his head when and if he found out.

"What are you doing here, Sarah!?"

"Is it so wrong for me to wonder around on my own?" she flung her hair over her shoulder.

"I can get into a lot of trouble if you keep doing this, is that what you want?"

"Please David, what can I, a girl, do?" she leaned against a tree.

"A lot more then you give yourself credit for," David glared.

"Mom and Dad aren't home, won't be for weeks......"

"And?" he arched an eyebrow.

"I don't know, it's lonely, maybe I could-"

David cut her off, "No!"

"David!"

"What? You expect me to trust you?" he laughed.

"Yes, I'm your sister, I'm a girl, I can't be left alone in that house."

"Sometimes I wonder," David scoffed.

Sarah glared at him, "Look, David, all I'm asking is that I stay with you for a few days and go into town when you need stuff. Simple."

"Up until Shawn kills me for bringing you there, Sarah, he'll have my head. I'm forever treading on eggshells as is, you being there would be like me destroying the whole chicken coop."

"…….chicken coop?"

"……you know what I mean," he sighed.

"Fine, protect your little chickens, but when it comes straight down to it just remember David, you can never trust _anybody_ but family," she turned on her heels and headed in the direction of town.

David sighed as he watched his sister walk away angrily.

"She sure is quite the catch," Ryan muttered as he finished his food.

"She also forgets the fact that she's the reason I'm here in the first place," David ran his hand through his hair.

"I can only imagine the lucky man who's going to make her his wife," said Nick smiling.

Ryan glanced up at the sky, "Our shift is about over now."

"You guys want to walk back with me then?" asked David feeling utterly sick.

"You really hate her don't you?" asked Ryan.

"She's my sister, I love her, but I hate the fact that she hardly considers anyone but herself," they went down a well covered hatch and locked it behind them.

They arrived in Rhapsody fifteen minutes later, a strange static sound filtering boomed from hidden speakers, "As of this moment, nobody is allowed contact with anyone from the outside."

The line went dead, they all stared at each other for a moment. Chris casually walked over to them coming down from the main entrance and motioned them to follow him.

-x-

Jack stood not too far away waiting for David; he'd been with Shawn and Anthony when Chris had come in and informed Shawn that David had been spotted outside talking to his sister. Shawn had merely raised an eyebrow but Jack could tell Shawn had made some sort of decision. After Chris had finished speaking Shawn had told everyone but David, sans Anthony, to leave.

Jack looked to Chris glaring.

Nick glanced at the door, "Shawn's been dying for an excuse."

"An excuse for what?" asked Jack.

Chris shrugged, "Rhapsody help us, I don't know…."

"Well, thanks for giving Shawn an excuse to do whatever the hell he's been wanting an excuse for!"

"Look someone else told me, I can't just not say anything to Shawn, when nothing happened to David they'll come asking why and-"

"Heaven forbid something happen to you, right?" said Jack quirking an eyebrow.

Ryan nudged Jack, "So how was the thing with Shawn?"

"I hear you guys were talking about Rapture, I really want the garden," Nick smiled as he joined the conversation, he was uncomfortable with Jack being angry at Chris as he and Ryan had not been implicated.

"He said Fletcher's gonna have a look at it with us," Jack felt like hitting something.

They all jolted as the doors slammed open, Shawn stared at them for a second and started walking, David trailing behind him. Anthony was carrying a notebook, writing as he followed the pair, he motioned for Jack to follow. Anthony handed a note to Chris and the four continued on. Nick and Ryan glanced down at the note in Chris's hand. Chris frowned and pressed the note to his chest.

"Send Fletcher to Rapture?"

"You don't think they're gonna do anything to David do you?" asked Ryan watching as the four turned the hall.

"Shawn's got his cane with him, something's going on," said Nick.

"I guess I should go get Fletcher," muttered Chris as he walked off.

"I'd be more worried if it had said City of Rocks," said Ryan as he wrapped his arm around Nick.

"No joke, Rhapsody help me if we never see David again……."

Ryan glanced down at Nick's face, it had been a while, but Nick looked genuinely worried his ever present smile gone. Nick was never around for the bad parts, he never got to hear Shawn's speeches about traitors or punishments. Ryan didn't know if Shawn did it intentionally or what, but he was glad.

"…..Nick, about the noose on your bed that night," it was the first time he asked about, he figured this was his only chance.

Nick's head shot up to look at him, he seemed surprised.

"What was it doing there?"

For a brief second he thought Nick was going to cry, but he just opened his mouth and spoke softly, "It wasn't mine…..they placed it there, neatly on my bed, every night….."

"You didn't make it….?" he slid his hand to Nick's and held it tightly.

"…..every night….." he clenched his eyes shut and shook his head, forcing a smile, "I think, we should go home."

Ryan felt like his heart was going to shatter, "I love you Nick."

"Me too, I love you," Nick leaned against him as they headed down the hall.

-x-

Shawn watched as water dripped out of the ceiling. Anthony and Fletcher stood behind him. The sound of something cracking drew their attention to the floor. Water poured in through a vent, Shawn raised an eyebrow in distaste. Anthony cringed and started to take some mental notes as he did not have his other notebooks on him.

Fletcher looked to Shawn, "I don't know what else to tell you except that air's escaping."

"I'm not always too bright, but I'm very certain that's a bad thing," muttered Shawn.

"So there's really no way to stop it?" asked David timidly.

Whatever Shawn had said or done, it showed. Jack couldn't help but notice how very docile David suddenly seemed.

Fletcher shook his head, "I mean, pumping out the water will only do so much."

"Fuck," Shawn glared at the water pooling at their feet.

"I suppose everyone was gonna have to move on eventually."

Anthony looked over at Fletcher, "This was more of a home then any other space on this _planet_, for a lot of people……not just us."

"You think _I_ have any idea where I'm supposed to go with Robert after this place floods?"

"It's bad to talk about the end before it happens," Shawn watched tightlipped as a tin box floated by.

The door opposite them opened a very looking small boy with black hair walked in, Robert trailing behind him, "We got a bit of a problem."

Shawn looked at Jack and David, "Go home, and think carefully Davey, not like anyone's life is on the line."

-x-

Once they were far enough away Jack turned to David, "What did he do?"

David took a deep breath and exhaled, "He told me I had three options, go back up and get punished, stay down here and never go back up again, or he could shoot me right then and there……"

"You serious?!" they kept walking, pushing past people as they went through the center of the city.

David didn't say anything till they got to Hedos, he dropped to the ground once they got out the tunnel, "I can't never see my parents again Jack."

Jack knelt next to him, "Then just, go back up there."

"You really think Shawn would just let me walk away? Jack, I know things, too many things. Shawn's never going to let me leave this place, don't you get that?" David ran his hands through his hair and pulled.

Jack wasn't entirely sure what to do, "Then why would he give you options?"

"I go up there they're going to….." he couldn't even say it, "…till I- till I talk, I'm not a strong person Jack. They'd just torture me till I talked, I couldn't do that, I couldn't live with myself."

"They all treat you like crap anyway j-" Jack seemed startled as David cut him off.

"They may not like me, trust me, but Shawn gave me a place that has mean something, right?" David pulled his hands out of his hair and stood.

He didn't seem confident, he just seemed resigned.

Jack stood also and followed him back to the house, "I'm ……I'm sure…."

He shut the door behind him as David went upstairs, the house was too quiet, too dark. He stared out the window into the metal ceiling and down at the fake lawn…..Shawn wanted David to suffer, David seemed content to let him have his way. Jack just wanted David to be himself again…..He stepped away from the window and went up the stairs.

Slowly he pushed David's door open, he found him sitting on the other side of his bed staring down at a family photo. For all his worth, David did not cry, he never looked like he even thought about crying. He wanted to though, as society said it, it's okay to have opinions, so long as they were the same as everyone else. It wasn't okay, to be emotional. He glared at Jack.

"Get out."

Jack sat next to him, "Make me, David."

It took all his strength not to rip up the photo, he wasn't mad at his family, he was mad at himself. If he had just, been like everyone else…..

"I just….I miss them so much. I shouldn't be here, I didn't do anything wrong, nobody has……"

Jack slid his arm around his shoulder, "I know that David."

David slowly pulled his gaze from the photo, he was staring Jack straight in the eyes. Neither of them spoke the room echoed in silence. It felt like if something didn't happen soon the world would shatter, it only took a heartbeat. Jack leaned in and kissed him.

"I don't want to be _alone_ together, Davey," David looked confused at Jack's statement, "I want it to be _us_ together."

"Me too, Jack," David found himself clinging to him feelings welling up inside him he couldn't even begin to fathom, it scared him.

XXX

A/N: Things are a little crazy for me at the moment, but I hope everyone enjoyed this chapter.


	8. How His Walk Was A Shallow One

A/N: so as there is no confusion the bold separator is a flashback.

Fair Ain't What I'm looking For

_Chapter Eight: How His Walk Was A Shallow One_

"Spit it out, _now,_ Nika," Shawn slammed his cane into the ground.

"I got word from up top that David's sister was seen she's moving bushes and looking behind trees, at this rate," he stopped as Shawn flung his hand in the air, he honestly thought Shawn was going to hit him.

Fletcher spoke before Shawn could open his mouth, "We'll take care of it."

"You damn well better!" yelled Shawn.

The five of them headed down the hall, Shawn kept glaring at Robert.

Fletcher ushered Robert into the library, "Look, just watch Robert for me, we'll be back."

"Just go already, take care of her before she does _us_!"

Robert flinched at the loudness of Shawn's voice. Anthony simply grabbed a notebook from the shelf and wrote something down in it before following Fletcher out to keep watch and take notes.

"Anthony…….." called Shawn as he sat down.

He paused and briefly smiled at him, "Yeah, Shawn?"

"I'll see you when you get back," he tapped his cane on the ground staring at it.

"Yeah," Anthony continued to smile as he shut the door.

Shawn tried to relax, but couldn't help the tenseness in his upper back and shoulders. He stared over at Robert who opened his mouth then snapped it shut immediately. Shawn rolled his eyes. It really made him uncomfortable to sit in the same room with Robert by himself.

"You uh, play cards right?"

Robert nodded then quietly said, "I'm hungry."

"I'm not your goddamn baby sitter!" growled Shawn looking annoyed.

Robert flinched, shaking somewhat visibly.

Shawn sighed, the last thing he needed was for Robert to freak out, "Fine, I'll fucking make us something."

They stood and walked out the study, Robert trailing behind silently listening as Shawn ranted about his inability and lack of interested in learning how to cook. Shawn lead them into an extravagant kitchen and pulled something out of the fridge and sniffed it. Cringing he tossed it in the trash.

An hour later the two of them were sitting in the study at a table to the right. Shawn finished off the rest of his food and suddenly felt the strongest urge to sleep. He shook his head and realized he was straining his eyes, he started to blink. He was finding it hard to keep his eyes open.

He yawned, it was the strangest thing though, it really looked like Robert was smiling……….

**-X-X-X-**

The five of them sat in a circle silently eating. It took them nearly three weeks to get wherever _here_ was. When they first arrived Shawn had warned them.

"This whole place……." He shook his head, "be careful, I did what I could but, some of them are still down here."

"Them who?" asked Ryan glancing around.

"I don't know!? Don't even get me started!" Shawn visibly shivered.

"Shawn, there's blood-" started Anthony.

"Everywhere….." whispered Nick.

"What the hell happened down here?" Chris tugged his jacket closer to himself.

"L-look," Shawn paused, realizing he was starting to panic, "I did what I had to do, and I'd damn well do it again if I had to just to get away from that- that hell hole. Do you _get_ me?"

"But-"

"No! No buts, either we're in this together or not at all."

"…….like a family?" Nick was staring down at his clenched hands.

Ryan looked up and stared around their small group of friends, then back at Nick, "Yeah, like family, Nick. Like a real one."

Anthony stared up at Shawn sullenly, something had obviously been off, he could tell the second he laid eyes on him. He reached up and grabbed Shawn's hand and gently tugged him down and slid his arm around his back. Ryan subconsciously slid his arm around Nick.

Chris rolled his eyes, "Of course."

"Your fault," said Ryan smirking.

"It's never too late you know," supplied Nick.

"Yeah, uh, not gonna be my thing, ever," he felt mildly guilty when Anthony pulled his arm from Shawn, who in turn looked very annoyed.

Something echoed in the distance and all conversation stopped. They all turned to Shawn who was looking off down the hall and shivered. His breathing started to become irregular. He abruptly got up and grabbed a sharp ended cane laying against the wall.

"What are you doing?" Ryan stood upon Chris and Anthony doing so. Nick stayed planted on the floor.

Shawn spared them a quick glance, "I'll be right back."

The look on his face was so, void, none of them know what to say. It honestly scared them. Shawn had always been somewhat cold feeling, but he always showed how he felt if you looked at him. This was new, no body had any idea what to do and they were content to let Shawn do…..whatever it was he was going to do.

"You're going by yourself?!" asked Anthony.

"You gonna stop me?" he paused and looked at them, "didn't think so." Then he headed down the hall.

"So……you're just going to let him go then?" asked Ryan glancing down the hall then back at Nick.

"Anthony, seriously, _go _after him. Two is better than one and god help us, because that look he just had……" Chris's voice trailed off.

Without saying anything he ran down the hall. He was scared out of his mind and for a brief moment wished he'd just stayed locked in his room. But Shawn had done this for him, for _them_. This was going to be home from now on.

This was theirs. This cold dark deceivingly empty looking place was theirs. It would keep them safe from the world. And they would be family, they'd celebrate holidays, they'd celebrate birthdays, and they'd make being alone in this empty place worth every second till it had to end.

"Shawn?" he had no idea where he was, he just kept calling out his name.

Finally he turned a corner, the only one left, and Shawn him. Shawn had his arm raised cane in hand. He just kept clubbing out whatever was crouched on the ground in front of him. Blood was spattering everywhere and Shawn didn't even seem to notice or care that he was covered in it.

"Shawn!"

He swung. Blood went flying.

"Shawn!" he ran behind him and grabbed his wrist.

Shawn swung him off and into the nearest wall and swung again at the figure. A jewel feathered mask flew off…..what looked like a person.

"Shawn," Anthony coughed as the wind was knocked out of him, "Shawn, he's dead, stop already!"

Shawn finally just dropped the cane, he took a few deep breaths and shuddered, "Oh god…."

He glanced down at his hands and furiously shook his head. He abruptly turned around and jolted back, he looked highly confused.

"Shawn?"

"What …….uh," he frowned looking somewhat panicked, "what the hell happened?"

"Shawn, you just killed someone…….."

"…..I don't even remember….." he looked at the cane.

Footsteps came down the hall and the other three boys all stopped abruptly. Ryan immediately turned Nick around. Chris stared in shock at the body on the ground then at Shawn who was colorfully spattered with blood.

"We should probably get it out of here….."

Shawn just stared at him.

Anthony reached for his hand, "We should probably clean you up……"

Shawn stared at the body on the ground and clenched his eyes shut. He looked ready to scream, but wouldn't and then he started to shake.

"Shawn."

"No…..no….."he opened his eyes, smiling sardonically, starting to laugh, "just…..no…."

Anthony didn't even bother to say anything and dragged Shawn down the hall and into the room and into the nearest bathroom and let the water start to run.

"Shawn, look at me," Anthony pulled his face towards his.

"………" he looked everywhere but at him, looking so very confused.

"Look at me please, Shawn."

"I- I can't keep doing this Anth-thony," he was frantically shaking.

"Doing what Shawn?"

"That's exactly the p-problem, I don-n't know what!" he flung his arms in the air, frustrated.

"It's going to be ok now," said Anthony calmly.

"Y-you don't know that!" Shawn yanked himself away from Anthony.

"I do."

"No you don't!" he pointed accusingly, "You don't know what I've seen. You don't know what I've been through. YOU HAVE NO FUCKIING IDEA ANTHONY!'

Anthony didn't bother to respond, he picked Shawn up and dropped him into the now clear running water.

"Anthony, what the hell!?"

Anthony pushed his head under the running water.

"Will you stop that!" Shawn yanked his hand away.

"Shawn?"

"WHAT!?" he struggled to sit up.

"I love you……"

Shawn stared at him, really looked at him, like he was looking at him for the first time, "That's the first time you've said that out loud."

"I know," said Anthony just staring down at him.

"I love you too, so much it drives me crazy, don't ever hate me ok?" he smiled up at him.

"I promise, no matter what……we should probably get you out of those clothes."

"You should probably make sure the others don't think I'm crazy," he started pulling off his shirt.

"Heck, _I _think you're crazy," he only meant it jokingly but the look on Shawn's face made him regret saying it.

"Go fuck yourself Tony," he chucked his wet shirt at him, "get the fuck out."

"Shawn, that's not-"someone banging on the door interrupted him.

"Hey you guys, Nick can hear you arguing, tone it down, and nobody thinks you're crazy, just stressed," said Ryan from the door.

"Not your business, Captain One-eye! Now get out!" he chucked his shoes at him.

"Oh my god Shawn's naked!"

"Shut the fucking door!"

"Shawn are we good?"

"Get out……"

It was a strange first night and none of them would forget it. Not the journey, not the events that took place, all the work it took to clear out the entire place to make it livable. All the bodies……. This was home now.

**-X-X-X-**

When Shawn opened his eyes he came to the daunting realization he was not in The City. What he built, who he tried to protect and keep safe, and it all amounted to this. With much trouble he sat up. His head pounded furiously while his vision became slightly unclear. He closed his eyes and calmly took a few deep breaths. When he opened them again everything was in focus. The person across from him was in focus.

"Nice to see you're finally awake," he sat in a chair, hands folded over his legs.

Shawn glared, "Where the hell are we?"

"Saint Morning Hall of course," he reached over his shoulder and tugged the blinds to the only window up, light poured in the small room.

"God shut the damn thing!"

"The moment they find out you're missing The City will be in chaos. Amazing, huh? What one missing mentally unstable person can do to a place……"

"I knew you weren't as touched in the head as you made yourself out to be."

"Sure fooled everyone else good."

"So what the hell you getting out of ruining hundreds of lives?" Shawn took notice of the shadows under the only door.

"Oh me? Me and Fletcher got a free ride out of here to the only place we'll be able to live happy in," he smiled.

"Did Fletcher know this whole time?"

"Fletcher was never a good liar, plus he has too much of a conscious. He never would have been okay with this."

"Can't imagine why….." muttered Shawn.

Robert stood and headed to the door.

"You better sure as hell hope this was all worth it, because when I get out of here and I find you-"

"Idyll threats my dear King of Rhapsody, you better hope you're still _alive_ after I'm gone," he opened the door and slipped out.

"What the fuck is going on?!"

The lights went out.

-X-X-X-

A/N: So another chapter another day. Now we're getting somewhere. Lol. Awesome news I'm getting out of Idaho and into Vegas. In like five months I'll be closer to home. I haven't been this happy in ages. Hope you liked this chapter.


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